This is being posted quite later than I "promised", but fuck it, it's here now. Don't forget, I still haven't posted the sequel to my bit on robots and the fate of mankind, and all that.. School is a harsh mistress, m'friends. Anyway.." />
Sitenews Minimize
  • 30/12/18
    Fun fact - AKPCEP has a Google Page Speed score of 100/100
  • 26/12/18
    You wonder how any of this worked in the first place.
  • 13/03/09
    Still here! Please visit the forums and join in the discussions. If you have any questions or comments please contact Alexander.
Link Button Minimize
link to https://www.akpcep.com

Use this to link

Valid XHTML 1.0
Valid CSS

Satanism - not as cool as the kids at school say.

Posted 1 May 2002, 9.00 pm by James

This is being posted quite later than I "promised", but fuck it, it's here now. Don't forget, I still haven't posted the sequel to my bit on robots and the fate of mankind, and all that.. School is a harsh mistress, m'friends. Anyway..

The Satanic Bible is, if nothing else, an intriguing bit of work. When you're a faithless maggot like Spooky or myself, Anton LaVey's arguments on the hypocrisy and worthlessness of Christianity are appealing enough - the slightly "taboo" nature of the material only makes it a cooler reading experience. All in all, if you're only looking at the first part of the Bible, it comes off as an intelligent, modern look at the crumbling pillars of modern religion.

But as you've already probably guessed, that's not all.

As a younger man, I imagined myself as a card-carrying member of the Church of Satan. Literally. I wanted that red, baphomet-inscribed business card to keep in my wallet. But when I summoned up the testicular fortitude to buy The Satanic Bible for myself a couple of years ago, I was surprised at how...well...hokey it is. How about an excerpt? This comes from an entry entitled 'Invocation Employed Towards the Conjuration of Lust', and is the end of a chant intended to get you laid, apparently:

"My rod is athrust! The penetrating force of my venom shall shatter the sanctity of that mind which is barren of lust; and as the seed falleth, so shall its vapours be spread within that reeling brain benumbing it to helplessness according to my will! In the name of the great god Pan, may my secret thoughts be marshalled into the movements of the flesh of that which I desire! Shemhamforash! Hail Satan!" Wow-ee. Now this is a lot less like a product of a competent philosopher, and a lot more like the end of Rosemary's Baby.

And if there is any doubt about the weirdness of this (un)holy book, why not flip forward a few pages until you find the 'Enochian Keys'? Enochian is "[a] magical language used in Satanic ritual..[and]..thought to be older than Sanskrit." The 'Enochian Keys' are a series of calls in which "the meaning of the words, combined with the quality of the words, unite to create a pattern of sound which can cause tremendous reaction in the atmosphere." Further, "the barbaric tonal qualities of this language give it a truly magical effect which cannot be described." So...let's read 'em already..

Ol sonuf vaoresaji, gohu IAD Balata, elanusaha caelazod: sobrazod-ol Roray i ta nazodapesad, Giraa ta maelpereji, das hoel-qo qaa notahoa zodimezod, od comemahe ta nobeloha zodien; soba tahil ginonupe pereje aladi, das vaurebes obolehe giresam. Casarem ohorela..." And it pretty much just goes on like that.

So what can we derive from the totally non-sensical nature of the inner-pages of LaVey's Satanic Bible? If I had to offer my opinion, I'd say it's just a clever money-making ruse, like all the others before it. It intrigues the intellectual in the beginning, and drags the poor reader from there forth through a bunch of unsubstantiated, mystical drivel. The transition is clever, though, as you might already be too interested to stop reading by the time you reach the point-of-no-return. Maybe you'll be a full fledged "Satanist" by the end, and if so, I can hear the giggles coming from the LaVey estate from here. After all, you'll then have to buy the other Satanic tomes they've churned out over the years, not to mention the other hundred books from the "ESOTERIC BULLSHIT" section of Barnes And Noble. Aleister Crowley? The Marilyn Manson autobiography? Sure, they're all there.

Personally and after careful consideration, I have to respond to this material with a hearty "No sir, I don't like it." I prefer a belief system that has a bit of integrity, thank you very much. I'm a Scientologist.

The Roach
on 2 May 2002, 6.59 am
Well, it appears somebody didn't really pay attention to the comments page of Spooky's previous post on this subject. Surprising, since you felt the need to announce the upcoming wisdom that was to be thrown down from Mt. James there.

Anybody with half a brain knows that the last part of LaVey's religious text is pretty much bullshit. The rest of those people spend a lot of time engaging rituals while others who know better look on and laugh.

Just like I'm laughing at you now.

Seriously, though, it's a well written piece, James. It's probably more suited to the Reviews section, however.


Berly
on 2 May 2002, 3.41 pm
James. If your are saying that Satanism is just as full of crap as all other religions, then I hear what you are saying. And you did a wonderful job of pulling the wacky out of it.

All religions have something appealing, and common sensical to build on. I bet we could find something enlightening and useful in every religion there is.

I'm going to let Dr.Mr.Professor Spooky reply first, but I can guess what he's going to say in response to this. I don't want to speak for him.

Just as an interesting illustration, I was raised Protestant (sp?). When my great aunt took me with her to a Catholic service (I don't know if religions are initial cap?), I literally ran screaming from the church. I was young. I didn't understand. When the whole group began that mumbling and the "hail Mary full of grace" or whatever that was, I was positive I was in the presence of aliens or worse...satanists. The kneeling, the priest with his stick and some smoking thing hanging from it. Then there was the branch with holy water on it that they threw around to do whatever to us all. I had nightmares for weeks.

Now, we have all surmised that I was an anxiety riddled child. Over reaction was my middle name. However, the accepted Catholic mystic hoo ha can be just as bizarre(sp?) to someone as the non-traditional religions. They just don't run screaming in terror - no, they find their God in a tortilla.



James
on 2 May 2002, 7.56 pm
"Well, it appears somebody didn't really pay attention to the comments page of Spooky's previous post on this subject."

I don't really pay CLOSE attention to much of anything. And you're right, I don't recall one word of what was said there.. But I don't see how that matters. I wasn't critiquing the Satanic Bible, I was critiquing Satanism itself. I believe young master Spooky had indicated there was a small chance of his persuing the "religion" of Satanism further.

Well, what do you think they DO at Satanist gatherings?

"Ol sonuf vaoresaji, gohu IAD Balata, elanusaha caelazod: sobrazod-ol Roray i ta nazodapesad, Giraa ta maelpereji, das hoel-qo qaa notahoa zodimezod, od comemahe ta nobeloha zodien; soba tahil ginonupe pereje aladi, das vaurebes obolehe giresam. Casarem ohorela..." etc.

I betcha.

Satanism is a joke. There's some nuggets of wisdom in there, some intriguing thoughts, but hey, Hitler wasn't all bad either. And Berly, Catholics scare ME a lot more than Satanists. You're not alone. Heh.


KC
on 3 May 2002, 12.55 pm
I don't have any real comment to add here, since everything I felt like saying on the subject was already said here or on Spooky's article thread.

But here's a little anecdote:

As an Israeli, it was funny for me to find a Hebrew word in that Satanic "getting laid" chant... "Shemhamforash" is Hebrew for: "the explicit name". Probably placed there just before "Hail Satan!" as an abomination intensifier, as the explicit name of god ("Jehovah") is supposed to be forbidden to utter. It's obvious the one who wrote this chant had no idea what he was doing, because the ACTUAL NAME is missing: "The explicit name! Hail Satan!" LOL


Mr Spooky
on 3 May 2002, 5.34 pm
"When you eliminate the last book and a half of ritualistic nonsense (it's what peopel were buying back then) The Satanist Bible is a fairly good way to go about living ones life. "

It seemed fairly clear to me , James, that we were in agrement about the "ritualistic Nonsense" included inthe last book and a half of the Satanic Bible.

Now, let's look at what was going on during the time that LeVay wrte his book...

HIPPIES.

Mysticism is what was selling, old chap. I don't remember for a moment saying anything along the lines of "Levay isn't in it for the money, w00t! Strap one on, it's time to Jam!"

Don't get your bollocks in a knot, James. EVERY book is written for profit. If they weren't, they wouldn't have to be sold. Furthermore, the Religion of Satanism has realy weened off the rituals and chants and whatnot. They preform a small one at the beginning of any meeting, but it's more symbolic that anything else.

Really now, if you're going to open your mouth, have soemthign to say. Would it have killed you to actually research your subect, since, as I quote:

"I wasn't critiquing the Satanic Bible, I was critiquing Satanism itself."

Spewing this nonsense witout any research is like saying that you can critique Buddhism by looking at a picture of a fat fellow.

THIRDLY: You are dumb. Ole'!


James
on 3 May 2002, 7.54 pm
"Don't get your bollocks in a knot, James"

Ouch. Bad mental picture. But seriously, I don't know why this is being considered a vicious personal attack. Heh.. Just a harmless bit of tomfoolery...

"Really now, if you're going to open your mouth, have soemthign to say. Would it have killed you to actually research your subect[?]"

If I was taking the subject at all seriously maybe I would've researched it. That is, researched it further. I wasn't trying to offend you in any way before, but if you want to take my silly post and say I haven't got anything to say, that's not cool. Because I could just as easily look at your post and say "Wow, he basically copied the text out of the book and said 'I agree'. Magnificent!"

The world doesn't need Satanism. People who do not believe in God do not need to gather together and share that with each other repeatedly. In my opinion, of course. But if a bunch of neo-nihiledonists (I made that word up for fun!) MUST get together, they could always do it at the next Marilyn Manson show, couldn't they?

Stop taking yourself so seriously. It's unbecoming.


jeff
on 29 June 2003, 4.55 am
James, I also was at that age when I thought satanism was cool and i wanted nothing more but to piss off my parents. I even went as far as to read parts of the satanic bible, it simpely was'nt my thing that dosnt mean that im going to start an argument with people who havent even reasurched what your talking about. nice ending about Marilyn Manson i bet you dident even know thats Marilyn manson is the grand child of anton lavay? word of advice, (if you have a religion) if you have a problem with satanist why dont you just go and argue with some satanist cult, see what they have to say about this...


Alicia
on 6 April 2004, 2.15 am
I hope Satan takes your soul to hell you Christians. Mother fuckers i h8 ya all.
Bye ass wipes enjoy your life wile ya still can.


Alicia
on 6 April 2004, 2.16 am
Oh and i forgot to say










Hail Satan


news-
on 4 August 2004, 7.18 am


news-
on 4 August 2004, 7.20 am


To comment on this article, please Log In or Register.



Submissions Minimize

1 Article awaiting authorisation

Users Online Minimize

Members: 6 Guests: 875
Google

Art Collection Minimize
Click for larger image

Doggybag/baggy_dog is an artist living and working in Barga, Italy. Click here to read about this piece in his own words.


Chat Minimize

Hmph

80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?

Support

If you wish to help AKPCEP grow, please use PayPal.
RSS Newsfeed: https://www.akpcep.com/akpcep.rss
Articles posted are copyright the respective authors and may not express the views of akpcep.com. All other content ©Alexander King 2001-2019. ver 4.0
This page was built in 0.0163 seconds