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Posted 16 September 2002, 4.09 pm by Sickan

Soo as you all know I moved to my mothers home some what a month ago. And it was great, well it still is - but now I am going to change all that.
Yeah, I'm going to move once again. I need to go and stay at my best-friends house in an university-city, where I am going to study next year.

So I ask myself why I am such a restless person. I mean I like to move (not all the packing and stuff) but the simple concept of moving. First I thought that I moved to my mothers house, because the people back home were bugging me, like I had an extremely low level of tolerance towards them, which I don’t like, and therefore I wanted to get some space. Resent events has just proved me wrong. Well I love my friends and never should they doubt about that.
But sometimes rumors are far worse than slamming stuff in peoples heads, you know? I have lost a friend because of something he had heard someone said I've said and so on and so on... well I have no idea of what I have said that could make him that mad at me. Oh well a little sidestep here...

I don’t know what made me write this topic, but hey I guess I just want to tell people here, that sometimes circumstances makes us make, to others, weird decisions concerning their own bloody lives.

I sometimes wish that I didn’t had to ‘answer’ to my ‘people’ you know?? Like why I am moving, why I tend to do some things that look idiotic in others eyes… Well there is a simple answer to all that – I have my reasons, and sometimes I do not have the urge to tell others about them. I really don’t. I don’t have to explain myself to others, well okay, I have to if it is something concerning their lives – but still, I have to do what I have to do! I do not do stuff just to make problems… sometimes I feel that people I love and loves me forget that.

There is nothing wrong with my friends and family – I mean, they can ask me to do anything for them and I’ll probably do it, and they can ask me stuff that some would say is non of their business and I’ll gladly answer them. But when I put my foot down and refuse to tell them my reasons and explain why I do certain things, they just freak.

Anyway, now I’m done! Heh, well I hope that I haven’t done anything wrong and said something that make people IRL freak, if so… fuck off… I’m sorry, but that’s it… realize this, I have not changed, I am still the same person you know – but I have just realized that I cannot live all my life satisfying others needs and suddenly one morning wake up and look at myself in the mirror and see that I cant see who I am. I will not forget myself.

Now, some people would say that I overreact, too bad. This is how I feel and this is where I stand. I guess we all have to be honest and put our feet to the ground. This is how I have done it. Now you all know.

-Peace.

Jack
on 16 September 2002, 4.21 pm
Wow. Being one of the people this could technically concern, I would REALLY like to know what it is about. I hope I'm not part of the problem, because it is obvious how strongly you feel about this. Unfortunately, with my own moving and such, I haven't been very good at keeping in touch, but if the bestest friend you're talking about is who I think it is, I hope to remedy that situation...

Other than that, I say fuck whoever the problem is, and go be yourself...

Peace...


Sickan
on 16 September 2002, 9.40 pm
Thank you my love! And yes it is Dan. And no you are not the issue here... actually there is no one who I can point at and say, 'This is all about you!'
This is, hmm how can I put it... this is a thing that I feel, not something I can make 'real' erhm... arrgh I cant explain this.

Well anyways, all I wanted to point out with this article is that I just wanted to make the point that one should let friends and loved ones do what they have to, and sometimes they have to do stuff they can not explain. Perhaps they do not even want to explain themselves...

I'm sorry that I cant be more specific here...

Peace


Sickan
on 16 September 2002, 9.43 pm
'Well anyways, all I wanted to point out with this article is that I just wanted...'

Erhm... jusat igonre that... I just got home from work!!! Hehe

Peace


GLADIATOR
on 17 September 2002, 3.56 pm
Sickan

I love your articles, they are soooo much like real life. People say these are the best years of your life, I personally don't think so, but enjoy them now, because as complicated as they feel to you to-day, in 20 yrs they will seem very insignificant.

Relax, and enjoy yourself. The real friends will love and respect you for it, the others, well just have some fun.

And you send Jack/Dan into the shed, and allow me to prove to spooky what a bastard I can be. lol

Go kick ass



Berly
on 17 September 2002, 4.00 pm
I've been here before. Never ever easy. Good post.


link-
on 4 August 2004, 7.21 am


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