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Did you have a yesterday?

Posted 19 October 2002, 5.56 am by JamTorkberg

First of all, let me apologies for the incoherent-ness of the following article. I have been trying to write something worthwhile, but I have not been sleeping, and my thoughts suffer as a result. I think I will stick to short stories for the time being.

Have you ever stopped to consider what your past is? In truth, we as humans can only perceive the now, the present, the very moment we are living in. But, that moment is so tiny, so infinitely small, that it passes before we know it was there, and we are on to the next moment. So, being so small, we enjoy accumulating moments we have already lived through, sorting them out, and comparing them to the now. That is our past, in a sense.

But look at your past. Take a long look at how you define it. As beings that permanently perceive the present moment, how do we even know the past exists? Well, memories for one. We know what we had for breakfast today. We know the last time we had a really good stake, our most recent kiss. But this is not our past. This is the afterimage of more nano-moments, mere collections of “nows”. We take for granted that time passed between these moments. We try to keep track of how much time passed. But we do not recall that time.

No doubt you have heard the phrase “Time flies when you are having fun.” Ever wonder why? Because, while having fun, you loose track of the moments in between the moments you choose to remember. But when not stimulated, the brain takes notice and logs all around it, filling in all the blank spaces between “now” and “then”.

In your memory, you define your life by placing spans of time between the moments you have recorded. Physical evidence would be best, of course. Photographs, films, foot prints, books. These can be taken and stored, but the only advantage is that they may last longer. There is no way to record every moment of our lives, so we must still place distances of time between the moments ate are recorded. But then, what moments do we choose to record?

I speak for myself here, but life is defined by what I call Human Connections. These are the moments that last, the moments that help us define not just where we have been, but where we are. For example, when asked when I moved the west coast, I do not recall the date, or where I lived before. I recall that two years ago I broke up with my most recent girlfriend, and lived alone for a year, then moved to the west coast. I moved a year ago.

As that breakup is my most recent Human Connection, time is beginning to grow fuzzy for me. Within a matter of months, if things do not change, I will begin to loose definition of the amount of time between my major life moments. And a moment that one measures one’s life by, to me, can be nothing trivia. Losing a job, a day at the fair, the day your dog died. None of these are substantial enough to be a milestone of life. A milestone must be strong, such as something never experienced before, and must be with another human, any other human. The first time you make love. The first time you killed a man. These are moments that help to define life.

on 19 October 2002, 6.58 pm
don't ever say sorry or make excuses for your writing.

on 19 October 2002, 9.31 pm
Very nice!!! Damn. I'm completely afraid to post anything anymore. The absolutey amazing writing on here frightens me.

Jam Torkberg
on 19 October 2002, 10.29 pm
Oh, I prolly should have mentioned, I ALWAYS make excuses about my work. Just a bad habit I picked up somewhere along the line. Sorry.

on 19 October 2002, 11.43 pm
Well you might as well apologise for using the word "incoherent-ness" then.

Just kidding. A strong return from the 2nd or 3rd (I forget) ever akpcep staff writer! Welcome back Jam.

Jam Torkberg
on 20 October 2002, 1.38 am
Well, if you count yourself, Zander, I'm third, as I think you recruited Waldo before me.

on 4 August 2004, 7.19 am

on 4 August 2004, 7.21 am

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This is again from the 'Faces of Death' cycle. In this piece, the mottled effect was produced by flicking turpentine at the image once it was smeared into the ink.

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Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness


80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!


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