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Posted 22 January 2003, 5.08 am by The_Roach

It's 8:30 in the morning. I'm exhausted, my eyes nothing more than slits as I painfully work to prevent the lids from snapping shut and locking my lashes together. I reek of body odor and hastily applied deodorant and my pant legs are sticking to my thighs from dried sweat. Most importantly, though, I'm smoking my last cigarette.

I meant to sleep tonight... last night. I have a lot of things that demand my attention today, and I don't know now if I'll be able to accomplish any of them. It's way past my bedtime. An hour ago, I exceptionally rude to Spooky's younger sister because her phone call broke my concentration. No matter how much I would like to say that I spent all of tonight learning the intricacies of the PHP scripting system as I had intended, it's simply not the case.

At 5:30 AM on January 17th, I lifted Syrup from atop my scanner. By page two, I had chuckled three times and realized that all hope of rest was lost.

Maxx Barry is quick to point out that this is certainly not the way employees of the venerable Coca-Cola company would behave themselves. He's got an entire page devoted to this disclaimer. If I honestly believed that this were the case, I'd be damn disappointed.

The average adult is said to have three million dollar ideas per year. Scat, an unemployed marketing god-to-be, has just had one. It's called Fukk and he's convinced that it's going to revolutionize the soft drink industry. What's different about it? It comes in a black can with the word Fukk emblazoned across it in red.

That's it.

When Scat takes it to Coca-Cola, he meets the woman of his dreams. Aggressive, smart, and undeniably sexy. Her name is 6, she's a lesbian, and she knows that Fukk will change the world. Too bad for Scat that he's already fucked up his own deal. Well, that and the woman of his dreams is a lesbian.

What follows in the next two hundred and fifty pages is an uproarious ride through the often bitter and cruel corporate marketing world. Scat is repeatedly crushed and defeated despite constant success against unbelievable odds. All of this leading up to the ultimate prize, the wet dream of any marketer: The 90 minute advertisement.

Barry has successfully managed to weave together a cynical look at media with an often touching romantic tale. It's constant twists and turns managed to keep me riveted from start to finish. I didn't even set the book down to brush my teeth, preferring to read while praying that I hadn't dribbled paste down my beard.

If you can find a copy at your local bookstore, buy it immediately. Printing ceased in mid December with no plans to resume. As for me, I'll be banging on store doors about this time next Friday to pick up his next novel, Jennifer Government. If it's half as entertaining as Syrup has been... Well, I guess I can look forward to at least one more sleepless night.

Buy it at amazon
on 28 January 2003, 5.32 am
After the House of Leaves recommendation, I'll take this one too. It should be arriving in the next week or so.

on 30 January 2003, 6.23 pm
Roach is rarely wrong on these matters.

on 19 February 2003, 10.16 pm
Well, I finished it in one day. It is [b]that[/b] good. Really.

on 4 August 2004, 7.19 am

on 4 August 2004, 7.21 am

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My mom once told me she felt like the leaf in this photograph and asked me if I could name the photo after her.


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Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness


80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!


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