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When They're Gone

Posted 10 January 2006, 4.29 pm by HockeyGod

We all have those people in our lives. The ones we rarely think about, the ones who we just take for granted; until they're gone.

For some reason or another we don't let ourselves get close to these people while they're alive. Maybe we're too busy, too shy, or let some handicap get in our way.

We hear about them going into the hospital and we pay it lip service; that is until they don't come out. We rationalize things about not letting it affect us since we didn't really know them.

But it does affect us, and it should. At the risk of sounding cliche, you truly don't miss someone until they're gone.

We all suffer a loss like this, whether it be an old friend we never talk to, an obscure relative we've rarely met, or that old man who lives next door and sometimes brings us vegetables out of his garden.

Thankfully, the pain of these losses strengthens us. We become more aware of the lives we're taking for granted; of the less significant people in our lives who won't always be there. These losses give us motivation to just sit down and talk with those who we don't see on a daily basis. They make us cognizant of life, and of what we all stand to lose.

RIP uncle Tommy.

on 10 January 2006, 6.26 pm
just for the back story, Tommy was my grandmother's brother. He was almost 70 years old.

He was born with downs syndrome, and lived in a special home until 5 years ago when he came to live with my grandmother. I had never met him, and barely known about his existence until then. I saw him maybe twice / month at most, and only for dinner. He did steal my contacts once though...

Perhaps I should have spent more time with him, perhaps I should have visited him in the hospital.

on 14 January 2006, 6.34 pm
First of all, Hello. I've been visiting this site for a long time and enjoy reading the conversation. Your post struck a fresh wound in me and I felt I should add my recent experience to it.

This christmas a close childhood friend of mine died, he was riddled with lymphoma, gaunt, pale and drugged up to his eyeballs when I saw him last.

I mention this because as we were from the same town we were very close but once we started university, the same university I might add, I was too lazy to walk the meer 3 miles to visit him regularly. This of course was when I was ignorant of his condition which he was hiding from everyone so as not to be treated differently. So for three years I barely saw him until I get a call informing me he had terminal cancer. I rush home to visit him assuming that this was an earlyish stage and we could still be active in some way (i.e. go get pissed) but I arrive at his parents house and am confronted by a hospital bed in his living room and a rather hefty looking tube running into his arm. He was clearlly going no where. I had missed what little time he had left through a mixture of ignorance and laziness not in that order.

The lesson I have learnt from this was like a slap in the face. Stay in contact with the people you love and respect and a good photo collection of your friends and experiences are a good thing indeed.

RIP Colin, at the grand age of 24.

on 18 January 2006, 8.37 am
in my humble opinion that was a really good piece, HG. In some ways I have found myself with a similar train of thought recently, and have contacted some people recently who i haven't spoken to for a long time. However, for all i know i could already be in the same boat as Rog.

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Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness


80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!


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