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A Tribute To Small-Town Teen Angst (with a nod to e.e. cummings)

Posted 18 September 2002, 3.00 am by Jake

I’m dying inside.
Not physically, but men-tal-ly.
Too many things going awry in my life, too much #@$131/confusion!452*&^
I’ve been wasting all of my time trying to keep things in order
And put that which has c r um ble d back together.
Too much time accommodating others
and not enough time to dream,
to myself
All this static makes me want to scream, SHOUT, destroy things,
put a brick through the plate-glass windows of the school
burn all of my money, beat the shit out of all of my old friends
take a sledgehammer to
the new Mercedes Benzes that I’ll never want to own
get raving drunk and piss on the Capitol building
{curse behind the old ladies at church}
kick the fuck out of whiny kids crying about useless bullshit (wait, what?)
smoke pot in a local restaurant and stick my
-fingers up the teenage waitress’s skirt-
lead
the
police
on a 2 hour-long car chase
and meet my own demise by driving off of a



cliff.

I can be my own God.

At your service, anyway.

Now Testify

Posted 16 September 2002, 4.09 pm by Sickan

Soo as you all know I moved to my mothers home some what a month ago. And it was great, well it still is - but now I am going to change all that.
Yeah, I'm going to move once again. I need to go and stay at my best-friends house in an university-city, where I am going to study next year.

So I ask myself why I am such a restless person. I mean I like to move (not all the packing and stuff) but the simple concept of moving. First I thought that I moved to my mothers house, because the people back home were bugging me, like I had an extremely low level of tolerance towards them, which I don’t like, and therefore I wanted to get some space. Resent events has just proved me wrong. Well I love my friends and never should they doubt about that.
But sometimes rumors are far worse than slamming stuff in peoples heads, you know? I have lost a friend because of something he had heard someone said I've said and so on and so on... well I have no idea of what I have said that could make him that mad at me. Oh well a little sidestep here...

I don’t know what made me write this topic, but hey I guess I just want to tell people here, that sometimes circumstances makes us make, to others, weird decisions concerning their own bloody lives.

I sometimes wish that I didn’t had to ‘answer’ to my ‘people’ you know?? Like why I am moving, why I tend to do some things that look idiotic in others eyes… Well there is a simple answer to all that – I have my reasons, and sometimes I do not have the urge to tell others about them. I really don’t. I don’t have to explain myself to others, well okay, I have to if it is something concerning their lives – but still, I have to do what I have to do! I do not do stuff just to make problems… sometimes I feel that people I love and loves me forget that.

There is nothing wrong with my friends and family – I mean, they can ask me to do anything for them and I’ll probably do it, and they can ask me stuff that some would say is non of their business and I’ll gladly answer them. But when I put my foot down and refuse to tell them my reasons and explain why I do certain things, they just freak.

Anyway, now I’m done! Heh, well I hope that I haven’t done anything wrong and said something that make people IRL freak, if so… fuck off… I’m sorry, but that’s it… realize this, I have not changed, I am still the same person you know – but I have just realized that I cannot live all my life satisfying others needs and suddenly one morning wake up and look at myself in the mirror and see that I cant see who I am. I will not forget myself.

Now, some people would say that I overreact, too bad. This is how I feel and this is where I stand. I guess we all have to be honest and put our feet to the ground. This is how I have done it. Now you all know.

-Peace.

Who's the Bitch?

Posted 15 September 2002, 8.02 pm by Berly

I've been working a lot lately. Too much, actually. In fact, I was supposed to be at the office today. Sunday. I'm not going. I woke up this morning mumbling about reports that had to be done...projects that are due...and then I looked at my surroundings.

The cats have torn up an entire "economy" size package of toilet paper. It looks like it snowed in my house. I'd take a picture to show you, but my camera is at the office. My trash can is out on the back porch - that's as far as I got with it. How busy can I be that I can't even make it out to the dumpster? I'm not even going to tell you what state my laundry is in. Let's just say that I've never had more room in my closet.

Friday, as I was driving to work, the phrase "sitting bitch" popped into my head. I don't know if the term "sitting bitch" is a uniquely American concept or not. For as long as I can remember, people have said "who's gonna sit bitch" when talking about getting into a car, front seat or back - when referring to the "middle" spot.

I realized, after 33 years on this planet, that the term refers to the fact that the spot next to the driver was traditionally where the "girlfriend" or "bitch" sat. I'm not sure what the heck I thought it referred to before, or why I never even bothered to think about it further. It remained a term I've heard and used myself, without even knowing the absolute meaning.

I wish I could have seen the look on my face, because I bet it was the same look my third grade teacher saw when I finally grasped the concept of long division.

I think today is a good day to not work.

Urban Myths debunked!

Posted 14 September 2002, 5.11 pm by Alexander

I've been meaning to link this officially for some time, when I first found it I was on the site literally all day. It's pretty addictive. Unfortunately it's horrifically designed and I advise you to turn off your speakers as MIDI music bleeps at you near-constantly.

That said, it's an amazingly well researched site. Go visit www.snopes.com. Especially interesting are the Coca Cola and Disney sections... and the investigation into wether Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite or not!

Morcheeba: Charango

Posted 14 September 2002, 4.56 pm by Sunny2Tall


Downtempo, Trip-Hop, Dub, Chill. Whatever you call the slower tempo electronic music none of it ever seems to sound the same or even similar. Besides playing at around 90 bpm (beats per minute) even the approaches to creating such music can differ vastly. From exclusively using samples from vinyl and arranging them, like DJ Shadow, or using combination of samples and live musical instruments, like Moby. The trip-hop trio Morcheeba, from the UK, truly composes their music. A rich blend of guitars, acoustic drums, synths, and of course Skye’s (the lead vocalist) soaring melodies. Still flying slightly under the radar Morcheeba’s previous albums have created a huge underground buzz and with their latest effort “Charango” they are sure to gather more new followers.
Charango really hits all the right spots. From the slightly soulful “Slow Down” to the South American flavor of “Sao Palo.” To tracks like “Women Lose Weight” featuring the rapping likeness of Slick Rick himself. A sarcastically humorous track about how Rick fictionally kills his wife simply because she gained weight. Charango touches on the nooks and hooks af many styles while staying true to the Morcheeba sound. Definitely an album you could set to the soundtrack of any good day in your life. I highly recommend acquiring any part or all of Charango, your sure to like at least one song on it.

DAS EXPERIMENT

Posted 14 September 2002, 4.51 pm by Villager

Normally, I dislike watching films in subtitles. It requires a little more effort than the average film turns out to deserve, and so I generally avoid them, despite many of their admirers recommending them despite this. However, as my father is a complete tool, when he picked this up at the video store he didn't realise DAS EXPERIMENT was in German. Luckily he got the DVD and not the Video, so we were able to make use of the subtitles (unfortunately the only 'extra' on the DVD). Of course, if you know German or don't mind subtitles, this isn't an issue anyway. DAS EXPERIMENT was so good soon I forgot that I was reading the subtitles.

The idea of DAS EXPERIMENT is simple. Twenty supposedly random men volunteer to undergo a two week experiment, for which they will be paid well. The experiment involves the role play in prison with eight of them as guards, and the remaining twelve as prisoners. The idea is to measure and analyse the reactions of the individual. There are rules. Violence is not to be used; this will supposedly terminate the experiment. Based on a true story. Of course, such a storyline would be boring without a twist of some kind, a hero. While he may be a strange hero, that twist is Fahd, played by Moritz Bleibtreu, who not only needs the money but is an undercover reporter, hoping to use his experiences to write a lucrative story. To aid this he takes hi-tech glasses to record what he sees.

The meat of the story is the increasing tension between the guards and the prisoners. The guards have aggression issues and this is aggravated by the nonconformity of Fahd, who needs more than just a quiet, uneventful two weeks to sell his story. Fahd deliberately disobeys the guard who assumes leadership and this inevitable leads to the use of violence and, ultimately, murder. But what about the people in control of the experiment? I hear you ask. Well, That goes pear shaped too. The film is an excellent portrayal of the human nature under pressure and conflict between egos, and what happens when you put twenty men in a confined space for two weeks, giving eight of them truncheons and the power of incarceration.

I would delve into deeper detail save spoiling it for those of you who see it after reading this. It's the best film I've seen this year, and something of a masterpiece of cinema.

Them damn grinders

Posted 12 September 2002, 11.39 pm by Alexander

And their submissions. This one is from the delightful sexual deviant firebrand. Remember if you want to see your writing up here, simply email it to a staff member. We're actually looking for full time staff, so if you think you can contribute a piece at least once a week, please email me at alexander@akpcep.com.

The blank page is perhaps the most fearsome of adversaries. It offers no comfort; offers not advice. Such an enemy to creativity is the blank page. It stares at you balefully, waiting to swallow your miserable attempts at intelligence.

That first word stutters out of the pen, stumbles into a sentence. Then the story spills from nib onto the luminescent fade of white.

"The midday heat rose desolately from pools that once contained cooling dew. It seeped apathetically into the crevices in concrete deck outside of Darcy’s apartment and washed the town with that shimmer that should be magical but instead warns the intrepid Southerner of the oppression outside.

Darcy herself rose desolately from the couch, tripped over the god-awful elephant shaped coffee table and cursed her way into the kitchen. Pushing a tendril of sticky hair behind her ear, she dumped the remains of the morning’s coffee down the drain.

It occurred to her that she had been in this dystopian vision of an apartment too long. Ever since she lost her job, she’d been stranded here – living on the bounty of her “good” friend Jill. Jill was nice, very compassionate, although almost gratingly Christian and the possessor of far too many "rustic" knick-knacks. Every surface overflowed with adorable sepia toned children kissing flowers or giraffes made out of paper clips. There was even a collection of Precious Moments dolls hanging out on the mantelpiece like some kind of Children of the Corn-esque gang. Surveying her surroundings, Darcy wisely made the decision to flee."

Thinking, yet again...

Posted 12 September 2002, 2.34 am by Jake

Considering the fact that teachers are more concerned with conveying the “how”s of history as opposed to the “why”s, I sat in AP U.S. History class today, and I began to think. Before you all gasp in horror at the prospect of me thinking, let me just say that it’s usually a welcome diversion from the lack of tasks at hand.

The thoughts that began rushing through my mind like so much traffic on a highway…well, they began to bother me. Now, usually people aren’t too easily mollified by simply daydreaming, but I was genuinely worried. By now, you’re either ignoring this piece or passionately screaming “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING OF?!?!?” at your computer screen. Well, that’s a good question.

I was thinking of the future. Not the future of the world, mind you, but my own future. I began thinking of what I had to offer to the world. That was a simple answer. “All that’s humanly possible.” I began to wonder about the opportunities that I would be privy to in the future. Another easy one. “Opportunity is everywhere.”

Not to concern myself with the lives and actions of those around me, I began to think harder.

The future of mankind? A dodgy question with even less reliable answers, at best. Considering that our collective fate (as a country) relies on the decisions of our leaders. Whether sensible or the most ignorant shit ever conceived(usually the latter), we still have to deal with the consequences, as will our future generations, as will our future future generations. Taking into account the various offending acts performed by our country against others, the carelessly violent behavior with which many treat each other, along with the recent outpourings of many anti-Western ideologies, all seem to have sealed our fate as a culture. Moving on.

I began to think of the future of the world as a whole. I began to think about pollution. The tons of gunk shit out daily from our factories, the various chemicals spewed from factory smokestacks that cloud our air, the amount of forests being looted for oh-so-precious lumber, the failing standars of once-clear water, landfills worth of waste being shuffled to various sites of the world. Another lost cause. All of the radical environmentalists we once praised have become jaded sign-holders fighting an increasing uphill battle against multi-national corporations, as well as the power of the almighty dollar. Yet again, my mind wandered.

I began to think about the exponentially increasing acts of violence between humans.

I began to think about the amount of time and the various family relationships wasted due to hours in front of the idiot box, the opiate of the masses, good ol’ television.

I began to think about the terrible living standards of those in politically and economically-stunted countries.

I began to think ab….oh, fuck it.

Why think? It’s all been done before, anyways.

Maybe it’s time for something new,

Yeah, that’s it, something new.

But….what?

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They were done for an exhibition a couple of years ago . They asked for something to so with the summer. They are mixed media and oil paint on metal advertising boards - for ice cream.


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Hmph

80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?

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