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Who's the Bitch?

Posted 15 September 2002, 7.02 pm by Berly

I've been working a lot lately. Too much, actually. In fact, I was supposed to be at the office today. Sunday. I'm not going. I woke up this morning mumbling about reports that had to be done...projects that are due...and then I looked at my surroundings.

The cats have torn up an entire "economy" size package of toilet paper. It looks like it snowed in my house. I'd take a picture to show you, but my camera is at the office. My trash can is out on the back porch - that's as far as I got with it. How busy can I be that I can't even make it out to the dumpster? I'm not even going to tell you what state my laundry is in. Let's just say that I've never had more room in my closet.

Friday, as I was driving to work, the phrase "sitting bitch" popped into my head. I don't know if the term "sitting bitch" is a uniquely American concept or not. For as long as I can remember, people have said "who's gonna sit bitch" when talking about getting into a car, front seat or back - when referring to the "middle" spot.

I realized, after 33 years on this planet, that the term refers to the fact that the spot next to the driver was traditionally where the "girlfriend" or "bitch" sat. I'm not sure what the heck I thought it referred to before, or why I never even bothered to think about it further. It remained a term I've heard and used myself, without even knowing the absolute meaning.

I wish I could have seen the look on my face, because I bet it was the same look my third grade teacher saw when I finally grasped the concept of long division.

I think today is a good day to not work.

Urban Myths debunked!

Posted 14 September 2002, 4.11 pm by Alexander

I've been meaning to link this officially for some time, when I first found it I was on the site literally all day. It's pretty addictive. Unfortunately it's horrifically designed and I advise you to turn off your speakers as MIDI music bleeps at you near-constantly.

That said, it's an amazingly well researched site. Go visit www.snopes.com. Especially interesting are the Coca Cola and Disney sections... and the investigation into wether Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite or not!

Morcheeba: Charango

Posted 14 September 2002, 3.56 pm by Sunny2Tall


Downtempo, Trip-Hop, Dub, Chill. Whatever you call the slower tempo electronic music none of it ever seems to sound the same or even similar. Besides playing at around 90 bpm (beats per minute) even the approaches to creating such music can differ vastly. From exclusively using samples from vinyl and arranging them, like DJ Shadow, or using combination of samples and live musical instruments, like Moby. The trip-hop trio Morcheeba, from the UK, truly composes their music. A rich blend of guitars, acoustic drums, synths, and of course Skye’s (the lead vocalist) soaring melodies. Still flying slightly under the radar Morcheeba’s previous albums have created a huge underground buzz and with their latest effort “Charango” they are sure to gather more new followers.
Charango really hits all the right spots. From the slightly soulful “Slow Down” to the South American flavor of “Sao Palo.” To tracks like “Women Lose Weight” featuring the rapping likeness of Slick Rick himself. A sarcastically humorous track about how Rick fictionally kills his wife simply because she gained weight. Charango touches on the nooks and hooks af many styles while staying true to the Morcheeba sound. Definitely an album you could set to the soundtrack of any good day in your life. I highly recommend acquiring any part or all of Charango, your sure to like at least one song on it.

DAS EXPERIMENT

Posted 14 September 2002, 3.51 pm by Villager

Normally, I dislike watching films in subtitles. It requires a little more effort than the average film turns out to deserve, and so I generally avoid them, despite many of their admirers recommending them despite this. However, as my father is a complete tool, when he picked this up at the video store he didn't realise DAS EXPERIMENT was in German. Luckily he got the DVD and not the Video, so we were able to make use of the subtitles (unfortunately the only 'extra' on the DVD). Of course, if you know German or don't mind subtitles, this isn't an issue anyway. DAS EXPERIMENT was so good soon I forgot that I was reading the subtitles.

The idea of DAS EXPERIMENT is simple. Twenty supposedly random men volunteer to undergo a two week experiment, for which they will be paid well. The experiment involves the role play in prison with eight of them as guards, and the remaining twelve as prisoners. The idea is to measure and analyse the reactions of the individual. There are rules. Violence is not to be used; this will supposedly terminate the experiment. Based on a true story. Of course, such a storyline would be boring without a twist of some kind, a hero. While he may be a strange hero, that twist is Fahd, played by Moritz Bleibtreu, who not only needs the money but is an undercover reporter, hoping to use his experiences to write a lucrative story. To aid this he takes hi-tech glasses to record what he sees.

The meat of the story is the increasing tension between the guards and the prisoners. The guards have aggression issues and this is aggravated by the nonconformity of Fahd, who needs more than just a quiet, uneventful two weeks to sell his story. Fahd deliberately disobeys the guard who assumes leadership and this inevitable leads to the use of violence and, ultimately, murder. But what about the people in control of the experiment? I hear you ask. Well, That goes pear shaped too. The film is an excellent portrayal of the human nature under pressure and conflict between egos, and what happens when you put twenty men in a confined space for two weeks, giving eight of them truncheons and the power of incarceration.

I would delve into deeper detail save spoiling it for those of you who see it after reading this. It's the best film I've seen this year, and something of a masterpiece of cinema.

Them damn grinders

Posted 12 September 2002, 10.39 pm by Alexander

And their submissions. This one is from the delightful sexual deviant firebrand. Remember if you want to see your writing up here, simply email it to a staff member. We're actually looking for full time staff, so if you think you can contribute a piece at least once a week, please email me at alexander@akpcep.com.

The blank page is perhaps the most fearsome of adversaries. It offers no comfort; offers not advice. Such an enemy to creativity is the blank page. It stares at you balefully, waiting to swallow your miserable attempts at intelligence.

That first word stutters out of the pen, stumbles into a sentence. Then the story spills from nib onto the luminescent fade of white.

"The midday heat rose desolately from pools that once contained cooling dew. It seeped apathetically into the crevices in concrete deck outside of Darcy’s apartment and washed the town with that shimmer that should be magical but instead warns the intrepid Southerner of the oppression outside.

Darcy herself rose desolately from the couch, tripped over the god-awful elephant shaped coffee table and cursed her way into the kitchen. Pushing a tendril of sticky hair behind her ear, she dumped the remains of the morning’s coffee down the drain.

It occurred to her that she had been in this dystopian vision of an apartment too long. Ever since she lost her job, she’d been stranded here – living on the bounty of her “good” friend Jill. Jill was nice, very compassionate, although almost gratingly Christian and the possessor of far too many "rustic" knick-knacks. Every surface overflowed with adorable sepia toned children kissing flowers or giraffes made out of paper clips. There was even a collection of Precious Moments dolls hanging out on the mantelpiece like some kind of Children of the Corn-esque gang. Surveying her surroundings, Darcy wisely made the decision to flee."

Thinking, yet again...

Posted 12 September 2002, 1.34 am by Jake

Considering the fact that teachers are more concerned with conveying the “how”s of history as opposed to the “why”s, I sat in AP U.S. History class today, and I began to think. Before you all gasp in horror at the prospect of me thinking, let me just say that it’s usually a welcome diversion from the lack of tasks at hand.

The thoughts that began rushing through my mind like so much traffic on a highway…well, they began to bother me. Now, usually people aren’t too easily mollified by simply daydreaming, but I was genuinely worried. By now, you’re either ignoring this piece or passionately screaming “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING OF?!?!?” at your computer screen. Well, that’s a good question.

I was thinking of the future. Not the future of the world, mind you, but my own future. I began thinking of what I had to offer to the world. That was a simple answer. “All that’s humanly possible.” I began to wonder about the opportunities that I would be privy to in the future. Another easy one. “Opportunity is everywhere.”

Not to concern myself with the lives and actions of those around me, I began to think harder.

The future of mankind? A dodgy question with even less reliable answers, at best. Considering that our collective fate (as a country) relies on the decisions of our leaders. Whether sensible or the most ignorant shit ever conceived(usually the latter), we still have to deal with the consequences, as will our future generations, as will our future future generations. Taking into account the various offending acts performed by our country against others, the carelessly violent behavior with which many treat each other, along with the recent outpourings of many anti-Western ideologies, all seem to have sealed our fate as a culture. Moving on.

I began to think of the future of the world as a whole. I began to think about pollution. The tons of gunk shit out daily from our factories, the various chemicals spewed from factory smokestacks that cloud our air, the amount of forests being looted for oh-so-precious lumber, the failing standars of once-clear water, landfills worth of waste being shuffled to various sites of the world. Another lost cause. All of the radical environmentalists we once praised have become jaded sign-holders fighting an increasing uphill battle against multi-national corporations, as well as the power of the almighty dollar. Yet again, my mind wandered.

I began to think about the exponentially increasing acts of violence between humans.

I began to think about the amount of time and the various family relationships wasted due to hours in front of the idiot box, the opiate of the masses, good ol’ television.

I began to think about the terrible living standards of those in politically and economically-stunted countries.

I began to think ab….oh, fuck it.

Why think? It’s all been done before, anyways.

Maybe it’s time for something new,

Yeah, that’s it, something new.

But….what?

Reader Submission #18965

Posted 11 September 2002, 3.53 am by The_Roach

The following is a user submission from Ramus (better known as Cardinal Buffman or, more recently, Xronos). We've reached the one-year anniversary of the September 11th attack on the World Trade Center. Here's his view of the aftermath. Enjoy.

"You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else."


For those of you that don't know, this is a quote from the movie Fight Club. It's purpose is to depress the viewer, helping them get into the movie more. When I first heard it, I passed it off as nothing more than just that.

Of course, this was all pre-WTC attack. Before the surging wave of patriotism. Yes, I was wrong. We are not unique. We're all just a copy of a copy of a copy. Each one standing up, boldly say how much we love this country. And why? Because others are doing it, and everyone wants to be with the "In Crowd".

I can honestly say, I've never seen a more brainwashed, blind country in my entire life. After the WTC everyone put up flags, bumper stickers, whatever; just as long as it had something to do with how great America is. Now, I realize it is their right to be patriotic, but it's all done for the wrong reasons. Since the attack I've heard way too many people talking about how horrible the Arabs are, how they spend their days thinking of new ways to kill civilian Americans, and how killing civilians is wrong no matter what. We bomb their cities, kill civilians, and nobody bats an eye.

Of course, this is not the first time in history we've done this. After the attack on Pearl Harbor, an attack killing 2,403 military personnel, we decided to attack Japan. After fighting them back to the area surrounding Japan, we decided to go for Japan itself. We had two options, one was to storm Tokyo which had a probable death toll of about 10,000 US Soldiers; or option two, drop bombs on two cities, killing about 350,000 Japanese civlians.

Well, of course American lives are more valuable than those dirty "Japs" so let's save as many of our fighting men as possible by killing their women and children. That sure sounds like honor to me. [/sarcasm]

Fortunately for Afganistan, it seems we're getting bored with or current war against "terrorism" and wish to pursue a more substantial war against Iraq. That way, at least we'll know when we're winning.

Yeah, a war on terrorism is a joke. Terrorism isn't a country, it's an idea. You can fight a country that supports terrorism, but you can fight terrorism itself. And as long as someone has something another person else wants, terrorism will always exist. And sadly, so will blind patriotism.

Synesthesia

Posted 10 September 2002, 4.27 pm by Sickan

People are all represent different lifestyles, smells, colours, numbers, letters.
All in all numerous things that defines and categorizes people when I see them. It is not easy to explain when I have to. I mean its no easy task to explain how your mind works.
Well my minds is as mentioned based on different things like numbers and colours.

For instance the number 9 is red. Every time I look or think of the number 9 the colour red pops up in my mind. 537 is some blueish-greenish-yellowish colour. But the numbers are not defined as 5 being blue, 3 being green and 7 as yellow. Its not that simple. 5 is normally brown, 3 is a deep purple colour and 7 is light black, almost dark grey.

Every number has its own colour, but sometimes they have the same, and therefore I can have some troubles with math. Heh…
Then there are the persons, they are all a mix of it all.

Let me try a good example; my very good friend Dan.
Let me try and tell you what he feels like in my mind.
Oki... I can only do this because he asked me a lot of questions about it. Hehe.
Erhm well he taste a bit like dirt smells... like dry dirt. So when I see him, hear his voice or meet him on the net that is the taste I feel. He has a clear blue colour in my mind. His number is 3 and he smells like a springday.

Now I have tried to research on this matter, and I discovered that a lot of people have this – in small or big amounts. I will copy-paste a section I found on the net.


"What??
Synaesthesia is a little-known and rather poorly-understood condition in which two or more senses mingle into one. One of the most common forms is the experience of colors linked to words, letters and numbers. Synaesthetes of this type experience written and spoken language as a rush of color associations. Others can see music, smell colors, or even taste words. Most synaesthetes think nothing of these associations and initially assume that everyone experiences them. As a result, many of them can vividly recall the moment they realized that they were different.


According to current theory, synaesthesia is a genetic condition produced by a dominant gene on the X chromosome. This explains observed patterns of inheritance in families of synaesthetes. It is believed most people are born with neural connections between the sensory areas of the brain which are eventually lost. Synaesthetes retain these connections into adulthood. Researchers also believe that these connections do not involve higher cortical functions. According to one estimate, approximately 1 in 25000 people experience some form of synaesthesia.

Who
Synaesthesia is not usually experienced as a disability. Synaesthetes are fully functioning individuals of high intelligence. They often have excellent memories, sometimes aided by their synaesthetic associations. More women than men seem to be affected, and a high proportion are left handed or ambidextrous. Some have trouble telling left from right and have a poor sense of direction. Others experience minor difficulties with mathematics. Synaesthetes sometimes report frequent experiences of deja vu, clairvoyance, or precognitive dreams."


Thank you Synesthesia.com.

Now are any of you like that??
I’m just wondering.

Peace

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They were done for an exhibition a couple of years ago . They asked for something to so with the summer. They are mixed media and oil paint on metal advertising boards - for ice cream.


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Hmph

80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?

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