As pimped to me by Wanker:

Wanker: have you seen this site?
Wanker: minutes of fun!
Wanker: I got 2 words published today ...ride hump - To ride in the middle of the back seat of a car, where the hump is.

ex. Everyone piled into the car and I had to ride hump.

choke yourself - To display your distaste for another's disposition; usually used when you're glad you're not in her shoes.

ex. A. My boss said I have to work this weekend. B. Just choke yourself.

Pseudo Dictionary

Add Comment [2]

Yesterday, I was walking through a busy shopping centre, West Quay they call it, hoping to find myself a new desk fan and a pair of trainers, which I tend to wear out quite quickly through running, football and, most corrosively of all, hard court tennis. It was a warm day, the kind where you really want to get everything over with as quickly as possible, so you can leave the chores of shopping behind and get home, and yet aggravate this by walking faster and getting warmer. So here I was, my feet aching and wanting little more than to be back at home sat in front of the tennis with a mug of coffee and a pizza, with a fan blowing cool and refreshing waves towards your grateful face.

There were so many people, it was like I was packed in with a tin of sardines, complete with intolerable body odours, vague utterances and the ceaseless hum of multitudes. From the moment I entered I felt horribly out of place. I tend to do my shopping during quiet periods, so that I don’t have to queue and have few obstructions in the smaller stores. I hadn't considered that yesterday though, and found myself swamped by hundreds of people going in hundreds of directions for hundreds of reasons. And there was me after a fan and pair of trainers. I got the fan. I took one look in the only Sport shop that doesn’t royally rip you off when you buy stuff and decided that I wasn't prepared to fight my way through the queues and see if I could get the solitary shoe assistant’s attention so that I could try on my trainers. I left for the bus stop and watched this world go by until my transport arrived.

I didn't want to feel comfortable with all those people, competing for space like battery hens. I wanted a deserted shopping centre with but the odd cheerful person to come pass, and respectfully not bump against my shoulder as if I wasn't there, and walk on without apologising. I wanted the full and undivided attention of the shop assistant, not to be 12th in the queue and dealt with by somebody at the end of their wits. I want to be able to browse the trainer section and not have to battle my way through the foul mouthed children sat on the floor. I don‘t want to be repulsed by the humid, relentless stink of the unwashed masses in a confined space. Anti-social? Anti-people? Selfish? Snobbish? I’m sure most of them are very nice people. I’m sure that had I met them individually I would possibly have none of this disdain, and perhaps even like a few. But I don’t want to shop amongst hundreds of them.

Add Comment [7]

Visit Site.

Add Comment [0]

First there was noise. All consuming and raucous noise, like a waterfall on speed.
Then there was the silence. A silence as heavy yet light as a winter morning where the snow is falling quietly.

Darkness fills the edge of my eyes, I blink but nothing helps. The darkness suddenly disappears – disappears into a place not known to any man.
Then the noise begins once more – fills up every fiber in my weak body and I notice that it feels like I can hear every conversation and thought in the building. Someone screams, someone cries, someone laughs.
The soft feeling of carpet under my fingertips wake me up from the endless stream of voices and thought – why am I on my knees? I look at my fingers, hand, wrist and wonder if they are mine, they don’t feel like they are mine. What feels like hours pass while I wonder if the fingers, hand, wrist are mine. Then the silence returns and I know they are. I realize that I am on the floor and try to get up. The movement of my head makes it all come back. Now the waterfall is replaced my a constant sound, a siren. The sound from an ambulance.

I blink again but as before it wont go away, wont leave me alone. I want to cry but the pain wont let me. I gather up all the courage and will left in me and get up – can barely get up on the bed. I try to move – just a little movement, perhaps to make sure that I am still alive, but the sole thought of moving makes the pain even worse, though is seems
impossible.

I try to move my eyes but the darkness just returns. I close the my eyelids and feel the shadow of pain take me in its control. I wont let it and I open them again – look straight ahead and see the glass of pills on the floor. Remember I took some. Lay down and feel the pain like it was a part of me. Darkness.

Open my lids and look at the stars above me through the window. Hours has passed. The migraine is gone. I am free once more.

Add Comment [4]

Mom says: "Your brother is in trouble again."

I don't even have to distinguish who she means with a name, as I have two brothers and only one of them is ever in any kind of "trouble." Up until today, it has been drunk driving, alcoholism, jail for minor offenses, joblessness and difficulty finding a place to live - without being kicked out within 6 months.

You see, we are a stereotypical Irish family. My aunt, grandfather, father, and at least one brother have had our alcoholic genes take control of their lives. Two of the four are now dead. One of the four has managed to recognize and placate the demon. The last of the four, my brother, appears to be racing to his chemical induced grave. He will get there long before he should, and I have no doubt that he is not going to go peacefully.

Mom says: "There's more."

I ask if it's money. I've always suspected he would be needing money eventually, as he's worn out just about every person he's ever met - and never kept a job for more than a year. She says "Well, yes...to a degree. But your father helped him out with that....there's more...." My breathing halts.

This is going to sound terrible. You see, money has never meant a whole lot to me personally - or my family. We lend without expecting it back, and we never hold it over anyone's head. The down side to this is that we tend to purchase band aids for our problems, as well as those we love. Instead of looking at why the "money problem" is there in the first place - we just throw some money at it and move on. I know we don't believe we can purchase happiness, but I think we believe that we can make reality a little easier to deal with. Therefore, when mom says "There's more" and it can't be fixed by money, I am in new and scary territory.

Mom says: "He has been dealing drugs and he's gotten a woman pregnant."

Now I'm a little frightened. I've seen far too many movies and read too many books dramatizing drug dealing life. I'm scared that he's going to be killed, or that the rest of my family may somehow be drawn into his mess. I'm afraid I'm going to have a nice or nephew that I'll never get to meet or know about. Once the "girlfriend" found out much of what was going on, apparently she did the smart thing and removed herself from his life.

I'm torn between hating him and being afraid for him. We have never been particularly close. He is four years older than me, and he has always been "different." He was unhappy as a child, and more so as an adult. My parents, as pointed out above, were not always the best at examining the situation. They didn't intend to harm anyone, but I can't help but wonder if the avenues of his life of were alterable - had they been tended to. I wonder if there was anything that could have been done by any of us, to save him. I wonder if we will be able to save him - even now.

Add Comment [9]

Indefinite

Isn't life so terribly random? We wander through life bouncing off walls, sometimes with a nasty shock, sometimes with a warm glow of satisfaction. We wonder what to spend our existence doing and struggle through with its execution, dogged by personal problems and on a constant roller coaster as to fortunes, attitude and emotions. Do we maintain a sense of course, seeing through a smooth and largely effective plan? No, we chop, change and reverse directions in an incredible ad hoc approach to life.

That is human nature. Wonderfully adaptive, horribly forgetful. What we learn from the instant is often lost or disfigured in the greater consciousness, often to a better, wider understanding, often to painfully regretted actions and decisions. A relative lottery. That the average person seems to thrive in changing circumstances and an evolving emotional state suggest that it is that to which we are most suited. Uniformity and repetition breed stunted intellectual growth and a shameful waste of human capacity.

What then of those who largely decide major decisions as they hit them? Are those to whom each day is a new junction those who fulfil and explore their abilities and limits those who get the most from life? There must be a balance. Flexibility and an open mind must be accompanied by greater awareness and sensibilities to make achievement meaningful, but do we really take advantage of our intelligence and amazing capacity for depth and variety of experience and understanding?

Consider that next time you leave the house for your 9-to-5 knowing precisely how the next month will unfold.

Add Comment [0]

So now that my terrifying exams are over and I got a vacation ahead of me I sit down and think; What to do, oh what to do?

See, its not a normal summer this one, this time I don’t know what I will be doing the next 6 months, before I join the army. Some of you might think that it is nothing to worry about, and stuff like its only half a year.

But the scary thing for me is that I have never imagined that I would not know what to do for six months in my entire life, never! I mean, it has always been as obvious as breathing that I would go back to school after my almost 2 months summer rest.
But not this time! Not even under the exams I let it come to me that I had no idea, actually it was not until I rode my bike home this early morning to get something done for akpcep, that I got to think about it – I cant really say that I am worried about my whole future, because then I would be lying, but I will admit that I am a bit, if not worrid then nervous.
At first I wanted to be a chef, yes me, the one who forget to eat and when I remember to put the water over for my beloved pastas I never consider to do much more than prepare them, never anything fancy like sauce or something, heh nope. Well when I moved from home that idea vanished quickly!

Then I was certain that following my mothers footstep as a teacher would be heaven for me, but after teaching in forth grade a whole week I kinda just forgot all about that. Actually all I could focus on was the smelly, nose picking kids with their lunchboxes filled with egg and tuna! Nope teacher and Sickan, no fucking way. I would probably have put a new edge to the whole high school-shooting-thing…

Theeen I got the idea that I wanted to study ancient Egyptian history at the university, which I still want to and I want it really bad. But of course not, they closed down that faculty two years ago… thank you everyone, now I will just rot in hell!!! ARRGH!!

Erhm… so after the defeat I decided that getting off the school bench for some time would probably be a good idea, so I volunteered for the Danish army and got a letter where to go and who to go to on this and this date. I clapped my little hands and waited. And I discovered that this famous date was in the middle of my exams, I looked again and it was just one day before one of the exams, so I figured that I might be able to beat the clock and get both things done.
But after further consideration I had to look at the facts and call the army and cancel! I got a new date – in the middle of august, which means I can first get into the army in 2003. Yay I’m feeling lucky!! Grrr!

But that wont keep my down, nope now I’m getting ready to walk somewhat 265 km. the next 2 weeks to get my mind off things and just relax – damn I’m looking forward to that… so one little baby step at the time…
Come what may ;)
Peace

Add Comment [4]

Hey! You! Kid!

Not you, the ugly one. Yeah.. you know how you're always complaining about how websites are so bloody massive and how they stick out the edge of your monitor and knock plants over and molest your pets? Well, it seems someone cares about your juvenile prattling -

Click Here, animal food trough water

At last, no more prejudice against those 1" monitor users. We can all rest easy in our beds.

Add Comment [8]