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An odd movie...

Posted 13 June 2002, 8.59 pm by The_Roach

This link was submitted by janetdoggy. I don't know quite how to explain it, to be perfectly honest. It is not recommended for dial-up users or (as jd put it) dot.

Click Here.


Posted 13 June 2002, 6.18 am by Sickan

In the night sky the stars are blinking vaguely down to us. They tell the stories of centuries past and centuries to come. I lean back at you and taste the night sky. You are sitting up against an old oak-tree, the smoke from your cigarette is colouring the summers air blue. I touch your knee and you let your fingers run through my hair.

The noise from the city below us comfort me, somehow everything seems calm and unreal here. The puzzling from some hungry animal in the forest behind us makes you move just a little. I wonder if you are uncomfortable and then turn my head, look at you – you smile down at me and kiss my forehead. I can see your perfect teeth in the dimmed light from the city and stars, your eyes have just a hint of the green which usually lit your strong face, now they are dark, look a bit small you must be tired.

A siren howls to the moon from the city as an ancient wolf. I wonder who is hurt and how. Maybe a shooting, maybe a car accident or maybe an old lady who has fallen. I wonder if you those same thoughts, thoughts of people - strangers and their lives. Perhaps.
After a while I get up turn around and take both your hands. You get up, your knee makes a crackling sound and you smile again. Looks at the clock we have been sitting there for almost two hours. I walk to the car and feel the blank metal under my fingertips, it is cold and feel fresh. You call and throw the keys to me, I look at him, wondering, and open the door. Star the engine and you get in beside me. You lean over and take my head in both your hands, you look deeply into my eyes, you look like you are hurt, like it is painful to look at me. I look intensely back at you, try to read your eyes but as usual I find it impossible. You tell me how beautiful I am and how lucky you are to have me in your life. I smile intrigued and kiss you. Push you gently back in the seat and drive out on the road. The radio plays ‘In the shadow of the valley of Death’ by Marilyn Manson. I feel you mouthing the lyrics. You are a wonderful creature.

The city and all it’s light overwhelms me once again. Now we drive in the pumping heart of our city. The banners with all the new movies, the stars from Hollywood smiling at us from posters, the neon from the cheap restaurants, the bars and drunken people shouting, all these things I call a part of home.

Soon we are home, the big old 18th century building seen dark and secretive in the night light. We lock the car and go inside. The building smell of home. The Arabic couple who lives just under us are arguing again, the elderly Japanese couple across the hallway from us are watching television loud.

I find the key and lock us in, the cat welcomes us and you gently pick him up, talk to him with love in your voice. I look at you two and feel so lucky. I hug you both and we stand like this for a while, the cat kick his way free and run out the door.

Lego Death

Posted 12 June 2002, 9.01 am by Berly

If only Lego Land was this cool....

Lego Death

exams exshmams!

Posted 9 June 2002, 6.52 am by Villager

Tomorrow I have the first of 7 of the most decisive examinations of my life. They will determine which country I live in for the next four years plus. They determine what I will be studying for the next four years plus. Two long years of classes and study will be justified or let down by a few short hours sat in a sweaty gymnasium in the summer's heat. I've not worked as hard as I could have done - far from it, and things would certainly be different had I the power of Hindsight.

All that said, though, if the worse comes to the worse, I'll still go to University, still study for four years, still have a decent chance to get a decent job at the end of it. My future after those four years will likely be very similar - and it will be little more than the location and the quality of the establishment at which I study that will be affected. The core elements in my life - continued education, companionship with a loved one, freedom of movement, independence et al, will all be affected little by Success or Failure.

It puts things into a comforting perspective, and I smile when I see others around me pulling their hair out because they are resigned to falling short of the expectations set by parents, teachers, and themselves. Sure, it may make the difference between immediate decisions and the like - such as whether I go to University in England or Scotland, Glasgow or Birmingham - but when all's done and dusted, my performance in Further Education will have far less effect on where and how I end up than class, wealth, personal interests and opportunities that care not how well I've done at College.

I am working class, able to live comfortably but not extravagantly, with a fairly well developed idea of what I want to see and achieve in the future - not just the next four years, but well into adulthood. Those factors - the tangible societal flexibilities, and my personal nature - will decide the outcome of my education youth, not As and Bs and meeting my Target Grades. I will do more or less as well as I can, and for me that will be of more importance than whether or not some grey-haired middle class so and so Up North whom I've never met and never will meet thinks me able enough.

Rumble in the.. retirement home?

Posted 9 June 2002, 6.50 am by Villager

So, The Big Fight Live. What an unsurprising disappointment. After all the media hype, pundit analysis and pay-check figures unprecedented, even I, somebody who never really cared about boxing, thought that perhaps Lewis v Tyson would be a good fight. No question, in his youth Tyson was an animal. Perhaps the old dog could recapture his old form and force boring half-British half-Canadian Lennox Lewis to actually work for his crown and fight. Perhaps common sense that tells us two men nearly in their forties aren't going to produce anything other than a casual fight would be wrong.

Perhaps not. All done and dusted it was a pathetic display. Lewis, the old stalwart, prodded away happily enough at Tyson until his eyes puffed up so much that he couldn't see. Tyson, supposedly a serious challenger for the title of greatest fighter on earth, barely threw a punch. He looked old, tired and quite unlike he knew which sport he was supposed to be participating in. But then, perhaps I'm expecting too much.

I think it was somewhere between Rocky 2 and Rocky 4 that real Boxing didn't feel like it was real anymore. The Glamour, intensity and spark that was present in films like Rocky and indeed in the Yester Years of boxing seems totally absent in Heavyweight boxing. I think it's sad when a fight between two old guys well past their prime is considered the greatest ever occasion in boxing. There are no prominent fighters with real ability anymore. No Cassius Clays, no personalities. Boxing is just another sport where Greed, Media and the good old American Dollar have so diluted any passion so as to make it unrecognisable. Perhaps there is great boxing to be seen; but it's certainly not at the right end of the publicity.

I'm going to live to 87! Yay!

Posted 9 June 2002, 6.32 am by Villager

Ever wondered how long you'll live?
Ever wanted a grossly generalised and inspecific test to tell you?
Ever wanted to know just how grey you will get barring an untimely accident/suicide/murder/terrorist attack?

Then here is the answer that you've been looking for.

What is your porn star name?

Posted 8 June 2002, 6.59 pm by Craig

I'm Paul Foreskin

Visit Site.

How To Get Free Hosting For a Webcomic

Posted 6 June 2002, 7.43 am by The_Roach

This was posted to the news section of the incredibly cool webcomic The Woodwork [/shameless plug], but I thought that it made a good article (and I wanted another opportunity to whore the site) so it is posted here as well. Enjoy. -The Roach

Suck somebody's cock.

I'm serious, I'm starting to think that finding a good, free place on which to host a webcomic is a damn near impossible task. Spooky and I are very blessed to have AKpCEP backing us up the way it is and I know that it wouldn't have happened were it not for some of those cold, lonely nights when Alexander just needed a "friend".

The space we're occupying now is, well, a touch of last resort. It's primarily a financial issue. As much as I've always wanted to do a project like this, I work retail. There's a lot of cost involved in running a good website, between having enough server space allocated, to the ever-present fear of exceeding bandwidth limitations (not that I was too concerned about this but, hey, a guy can dream).

There is a company that does provide free hosting for webcomics. KeenSpot, home of some of the greatest web-based comics in existence, has a service called "KeenSpace" in which people can sign up for a completely free account with unlimited storage. The only catch being that they require you to host banner ads for them. In addition, if your comic attains a high level of popularity, they'll actually pay you for letting them host the content. Good deal, no?

Well, there is one other problem with KeenSpace: Actually getting an account from them. There's a 4-8 week waiting period before you can recieve a response to your application. I filed mine in February, and am still awaiting a reply.

At present, KeenSpace hosts 3201 sites, which is a rather impressive number. Of those sites, 1363 have at least one comic on them. How many of those sites have current content, you ask?

Two. Trust me, I checked.

There are four accounts that I am still uncertain about the progress of, in all fairness. I say uncertain because while the most recent comic (according to Keenspace) was within the months of May or April, Keenspace does not display the year and neither do any of the pages associated with these comics. One had less than twenty strips, the rest less than ten. Granted, it doesn't look like KeenSpace has made any effort to remove accounts that are no longer updating. I'm sure that there are a lot of those 1000+ people who got started on the project and realized they couldn't support it any longer. To these people, I can extend a modicum of understanding, and I sincerely apologize if they should see this rant and become offended. You are not my target audience (not right now, anyway).

At this point, I would like to note that this is not any sort of negative commentary on KeenSpace or KeenSpot. They've made several noble efforts to make comics free for the viewing public. It is only in the last year that they've even offered a pay service with comics that are solely available to it's premium members. In addition, I'm sure that they're far too busy focusing their efforts on keeping the whole thing afloat to concern themselves with another application from another leech who's simply going to waste their valuable time by not making use of their account.

The problem is that most of the people who aren't using their KeenSpace accounts probably didn't even consider any of the above. It's like going to the supermarket and they're giving away free food. If you don't eat it, what's the harm, right? Wrong. Nothing is free, and by taking something that you aren't going to make use of, you deprive somebody else who might actually need it. In addition, it's a fucking insult. Would you throw away the sweater that your aunt sent you for your birthday because you don't need it? Hell no! At the very least, you keep it around for that one occasion you're going to see her and wear it just that once out of consideration. Obviously, there's nearly 2000 people with KeenSpace accounts that don't have an aunt.

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the people who are actually making good use of what they've been given. The following are the comics that are currently updating at KeenSpace. Please, take a minute to check them out.

Too Fat to be a Rockstar!

Addendum: Since this rant was first written, approximately four weeks prior to the launch of The Woodwork, additional information has surfaced. Firstly, that KeenSpace apparently doesn't list the correct date on a significant portion of it's listings. I apologize for those comics which were overlooked in my previous hunting expedition. If anyone reading this has a KeenSpace account and is currently updating it, please send me an e-mail at, and you'll get a plug in the news article following my reciept of your (likely angry) message. In order to save one person a few minutes of their time, run your mouse cursor over this link (yes, click it as well):

Stalag '99

Secondly, my account at KeenSpace is apparently open now, as I recieved a note from those guys on the 20th of May. I am, of course, going to politely decline the account so that someone else might be able to make use of it. Still, I felt it was important to note that good things do come to those who wait, and KeenSpace is a very good thing.

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They were done for an exhibition a couple of years ago . They asked for something to so with the summer. They are mixed media and oil paint on metal advertising boards - for ice cream.

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Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness


80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!


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