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My Entire Ass

Posted 24 April 2002, 4.22 pm by Berly

Wanker and Zarous. These two make me laugh. I hope they make you laugh too.

Don't expect the world. This site is inconsistent with the updates at best. Generally, there will be a couple of months of non-activity, followed by daily activity. Right now we are seeing some daily activity - with a chance of continued daily activity.

At one time, they had a poll. I wrote in to say it should be called "Poll My Finger". Can you believe they vetoed that? I'm not bitter. It's not like almost a year ago is a long time, or anything...

Go ahead, look at My Entire Ass.

“Obfuscation!” -- “Bless you.”

Posted 24 April 2002, 4.50 am by Berly

The Roach: “I’m going to buy a scanner today.”

Berly: “Oh, really? Fry’s or Best Buy?”

The Roach: “Neither.”

Berly: “Where then?”

The Roach: “Electronics Boutique.”

Berly: “I didn’t know they sold scanners?!”

The Roach: “They don’t.”

*berly sighs*

I’ve been at my new job for exactly five days. Already, I know more about my co-worker than I do about my own family. I know she’s got issues with the IRS, she is divorced and she drives a car that somehow causes her to be pulled over by the police on a regular basis. I know that her mother is living in an assisted living home. I know that the mail man has not delivered mail to her mother’s old residence for three weeks now, which is horrible because that means the insurance didn’t get paid, and has been cancelled, and the guy they hired to repair the screen door (with a detour to: even though no one currently lives there, someone will someday) broke his wrist when he fell on the stairs and now he will sue for sure...[insert symbol for infinity here].

I asked her where I could find the pencil sharpener.

*berly sighs*

Communication with other humans. I am decidedly bad at it. I ask questions that give me precisely the information I asked for, when I expected more. I ask questions that provide me with superfluous information, when I expected less. I have not learned how to effectively manage the communication beast.

Why is it that telling someone they talk too much rates on the un-fun scale just below “you have horrible breath and you need to try that new deodorant invention?”

And how is it that I can, and sometimes do, get exactly the amount of information I was seeking?

And why do I feel somehow offended when I’m not automatically provided with all of the information I would have given in response to a question...but only with certain people?

I am perplexed.

Leaving Here

Posted 22 April 2002, 11.12 pm by Jake

The wall shook as he smacked her up against it. He was drunk again, and she had accidentally burned his steak. Such a stupid little thing to get angry over. Her face was throbbing. “YOU STUPID CUNT!” he screamed. “CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?” She felt so sorry, so bad for what she had done. She watched out of the corner of her swelling eye as he made a fist and reared back. She felt his fist smash into her face like a car wreck.

Cue forward.

Hospital bed. Fades in and out of consciousness. She looks over at the intravenous tube stuck in her arm and gazes up towards the contents of the IV bottle. Through a slight haze, she can distinguish the letters
Morphine. She reaches up to touch her face, through the drug haze it takes millenia for her fingers to graze her own cheek. She feels the bandages and gingerly touches the swollen cheek, feels the blunt pain of her broken nose. Bastard.
Five hours later, she wakes up. A little groggy, somewhat shaken, but still breathing. The doctor walks in softly, as if noise would hurt her. She looks over at him and he smiles and shakes his head in disappointment. “Lucky you’re still alive. That guy…is he your husband?” She replies, “No, boyfriend.” Her swollen lip makes the words unintelligible.
The doctor quips, “Maybe you ought to get some more rest, ma’am. By the way, your boyfriend is down at the police station being questioned. A restraining order will be placed on him if you wish. Do you want one?” She nods her head, and lays back down on the soft hospital bed.
As she tries to go back to sleep, her mind begins to wander. She remembers all of the times he had beaten her.

The beatings hadn’t started until she had moved in with him…and there was something different about him. He became more annoyed with her no matter what she did, and one day he went over the edge and smashed her over the head with a bottle of vodka. She suffered a concussion, and the doctors said that he had intercourse with her while she was knocked out. She didn’t file rape or assault charges though, she had only packed her things and left while he was at work…he came back a few days later, kneeling on her doorstep, looking like a saint. She moved back in with him, and they started with a clean slate. He had kept his composure and was looking well. They even talked about getting engaged. One day they got into an argument and screamed at each other for an hour. He ended up throwing her down to the ground, and she yelled until he left. She cried herself to sleep that night, and awoke in the morning to a rose and a bottle of wine with a card next to it. He apologized again and asked her to stay. That was exactly four days ago.

As she lay in the bed, she thought, “Once more….that’s all it will take.”

She returned home 2 days later, acting as if nothing had ever happened. He apologized profusely, and she accepted, half-heartedly. She had plans, though. She wasn’t going to be stupid, not anymore. He would pay.

Cue forward.

One night, he began to get irate. This time, she expected the blows. As he drew back his fist in anger, she pulled a butcher knife from the chopping block and jabbed it into his throat. The blood flowed forth like a fountain. “Release,” she said. He gurgled and staggered backwards, a look of extreme sorrow in his eyes. She stepped forward, tore the knife from the hole, and stabbed him in the head. He slumped to the floor as more blood pumped from the open gashes. She looked at the crimson liquid leaking from his head….reached out, touched it. It was warm and thick. She put her bloody fingertips to her lips and licked them. It tasted metallic. She liked it.

The taste of freedom.

Plan it Earth

Posted 22 April 2002, 8.05 pm by Villager

Look at your immediate surroundings. Perhaps you are in your bedroom, office, or study. You are sitting there in your chair staring at your computer, one of the more modern of amenities we are fortunate enough to have. The chair may have come from China, or somewhere like that. The computer would almost certainly have come from somewhere like the US or Britain. The materials involved in constructing these two things would have come from field more diverse and further apart still. Just for a chair, and just for a personal computer. Just two things in what is usually hundreds of amenities that we all take for granted and which every corner of the globe contributes to.

Expand this to the greater world. The materials and expertise required to build a skyscraper, or a car, or a nuclear rocket. The fact that such advanced creations are mass-produced on a wide world scale quickly and cheaply (okay a nuke may be a little more expensive) is testament to the economy and resources of this world. Sometimes it amazes me that we've not run out of space or materials yet.

The same thing goes for psychological advancements. Religious theory, the analysis and understand of the human being, together with excellent standards of fiction and development, offer something for everyone to specialise their efforts in. We may not be able to eclipse our predecessors on an emotional scale, but we always hope to amalgamate our own skills with knowledge and understanding to create something entirely unique and valuable.

This, as I'm sure you're aware, is the result of civilisation. Especially in the past few hundred years, the imaginations and endeavours of each country and culture have come together to give us what we have now. Great minds, Great collective endeavours, the fruits of the efforts of which we find ourselves at the pinnacle. We don't have to hunt for our food; we don't even have to go out to buy it. Hell, we don't even have to cook it anymore, thanks to the microwave. Transport has never been so fast and cheap. The list goes on, and I'll not bore you with an anthology of modern conveniences.

Trying to comprehend the history from which the state of affairs comes is a huge task. Where does everything come from? Who thought of it? How much more can the earth sustain? What's the next step in that technology? We are removed from each of our ancestors in such a way that it is fascinating and awe inspiring to place yourself as a link between the current level of life and what the future could hold, and it is one's ability to contribute to their chosen field in furthering knowledge and skill that is one of the greatest satisfactions in life.

puer natus est nobis

Posted 21 April 2002, 10.31 pm by Shaggy

Before I go on, yes I know I do not write often, but that should change this summer. This is exam period and I do have no time to go on the computers. But when I go home, I will get rehooked up to the internet, and start posting more regularily. With that note:

I would like to think that I do not take my life nor anything I have been handed for granted. Yet, there are certain things that even the most grateful of all persons take for granted. For instance, I would not be surprised if I found out that one of my readers takes it for granted that he or she has electricity (something which is a rather important necessity to reading this article). I would also probably not be surprised if many people I know take it for granted that they live in an environment in which they can walk the streets with relative to ridiculous amounts of safety.

The reason I am thinking of this is an event detailed to me. A friend of a friend of mine was recently out on an excursion. It was somewhat of a routine excursion, merely a “from point A to point B” event. Yet, he had forgotten to take out money for his cab. He asked the cab driver if he could stop by a bank machine so that he could take out some money for the trip. The cab driver became angered, and immediately kicked the poor guy out into the middle of the street. The cab driver must have been of rather loose morals, for he kicked the poor fellow onto a street in the “bad part” of the city. Within a few minutes, a car pulled up, a gun came out the window, and a demand was made for cash. Now, of course, the poor man had no money. After all, he had stopped to get money for the taxi! So the fellow had to tell them he had none. Of course, never the believers, the criminals told him to get in the car. Obviously, no sane person would do this unless it was an absolutely necessity, so he shook his head feverously. This did not please the scum in the car, and one of them grabbed the man by the throat and dragged him into the car, drove to the nearest bank teller, and demanded that he take out all his money. Since he had no choice (and since a camera was pointed at the criminals), he took out all his money. Eight hundred dollars was gone in the blink of an eye. All he had was a license plate, and a severe appreciation for life.

The sad thing is that people much younger than he is-- and younger than I am-- attend to such a fate on a regular basis. In fact, I have no doubt that, perchance, someone who reads this might have to go through similar streets on a daily basis.

I must ask a question that goes out to all who wish to answer: is this truly the state of things? Has the price of life truly gone down to the equivalent of three weeks in a crummy, substandard job? I do not know what sickens me more, the fact that people are killed for less, or the fact that people are so desperate to live without work that they have to resort to gun point. To live in such dirty conditions that they cannot even live without stealing less than a month’s income from a student, who truly (and I state this from experience) can barely afford a penny to throw away, is appalling and disgusting.

This goes out to all people who are in my similar social status: if you are, like me, living with your head slightly above water (it need not be by much), then look around you, at everything you have.

Now picture how much someone must have to live in one of these neighborhoods.

Now realize that the common criminal will kill even those with so little that they have to live in these neighborhoods.

Now, for the love of everything holy, love and cherish everyone who means anything to you. Chances are, if they were to cross paths with the wrong situation, they could be killed for the jewelry they wear, or even less.

And be proud of yourselves if you are as disgusted as I am, and want to see to it that the world changes, anyway it can.

Donnie Darko

Posted 21 April 2002, 7.38 pm by Berly

I’m not going to review this movie properly. I don’t want to. If I did, I’d spend a lot of time explaining the actors, plot and breathtaking direction of this film.

I can’t do that. I don’t want to spoil any part of this film for anyone lucky enough to be able to see it before any hype ruins it.

Besides, how can you write a proper review about a movie that has an evil looking bunny named Frank in it?

I will say this though. When I first saw it, I thought it was a high budget picture and I couldn’t figure out why I had not even seen an advertisement for it or heard about it before my friend Ian showed it to me. I’ve learned that it was an independent, low-budget film - so low budget that they couldn’t even afford to do a sound track. That’s too bad, because I personally LOVED the soundtrack as well.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t research it. Don’t even read the back of the package. Just rent it and watch it. Obviously, if you have younger children, you might want to be careful. However, there is no blood (like what we are accustomed to, anyway) and you can actually say there is no sex. It is rated R, for language, drug use and violence.

Tourette Syndrome Simulator

Posted 21 April 2002, 7.12 pm by Craig

Visit Site.


Posted 21 April 2002, 4.59 pm by Villager

Not knowing whence nor where is duty,
I gaze into those lifeless eyes
Where was once was beauty,
Health and those assuring lies.

Words well rehearsed flow forth,
Dodging fact and all things true
I excuse my sins as but earthly,
And thus I lie to you.

Love in shape was never sure,
But now my affair
Permits love no more,
Impulse, hath left but despair.

_ _ _

I have never understood the mental anguish people experience over their cheating on their partners. If you are committed to someone, the desire to sleep with someone else shouldn't even be a factor. If it is, then you should be seriously addressing the problems within the relationship. That a breach of trust, love and emotional commitment can be forgiven is beyond me. That society no longer finds it morally reprehensible for someone to cheat on a partner is beyond me. Hypocrisy; hollow personalities bemoan their actions. Does it not occur that wrong might catch up with you, if not physically then within your own mental framework, however misorganised and fragile that may be? I have no sympathy for those who see no wrong in pursuing their immediate desires at the expense of those who trust them closest. It saddens me that we have so little respect for each other, even at such a fundamental level.

Perhaps one day I too shall be thrust into such a place that I feel the desire to make with another, while committed. But I would like to think that it wouldn't be too much to ask to be honest, with yourself, and with your partner, about how you feel. If not, then who's cheating who?

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This was more a fluke shot of the sun that turned out for the best. I was impressed by how well it worked out. Even thought there is a lot of empty space I feel that the sun flares and single set of trees has a very alone feel to it.

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80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?


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