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"They don't walk the way I do."

Posted 20 April 2002, 6.42 am by James

The problem with Grant Lee Phillips is, in a matter of speaking, "the nature of the beast" altogether. If you go into any album he's had a hand in expecting to be instantly hooked like you are by the latest Godsmack single (hah!), you'll go away from the experience sorely disappointed. Any of his albums, and Ladies Love Oracle in particular, requires a certain amount of time to be digested before you can appreciate it at the level it deserves - as a sonic masterpiece of the highest caliber.

How about a little background?

I first heard about Grant Lee Phillips (then, in the context of his band Grant Lee Buffalo) around 1994. I was a very young man...only nine years old...but I was already a huge fan of all things musical, especially Nirvana. After school in those days, I'd stay at a family friend's house until my mother would get back from work to pick me up, and in that time I hung around with a son of our friend, the twenty-something Brian. Also a Nirvana fan, Brian introduced me to a lot of the other bands I still love to this day, like the Pixies, Sonic Youth, Jane's Addiction, Mudhoney, etc. The last bit of musical advice he ever gave me was: "Watch out for a band called Grant Lee Buffalo, dude. They're gonna be huge rock stars, you'll see." I ignored his advice because I thought their band name was stupid and I hadn't heard any of their songs on the radio. It was only a chance encounter with Grant Lee Buffalo's debut album, Fuzzy, at the local library that brought the tunes to my ears...and I only enjoyed it after about thirty listens. Luckily for me, I was in the middle of a culture-phase in which I wanted to make myself more interesting by becoming a vegetarian and listening to music no one had heard of. I forced Fuzzy on myself until I loved it, and it was the best thing I've ever done for myself!

Pretty soon, I was a regular GLB fanatic...I had all their albums and followed their activities relentlessly. But then they broke up and all my dreams were shattered to pieces. For about four seconds. Because now we are reaching the POINT of this entire piece, mis amigos.. Grant Lee Phillips wasn't content with fading away after the untimely demise of GLB. Instead, he entered the studio for three legendary days, and returned with his first solo-effort: Ladies Love Oracle. He presented it to the fans humbly, with the words, "Sometimes a sketch says more than a mural." How right he was.

The album is a nothing short of a wonder. When most of us think about an album that makes the hair on the back of our neck stand up, we imagine one of those epics, with a borrowed orchestra in the background, or a million dollars in studio effects propping the musical craftsmanship up. Ladies Love Oracle manages to pull off the same effect without any of that...wink wink..."mindless self-indulgence". It plays like a half-hour love note to the most charming and beautiful woman ever born. The lyrics are poignant and touching at times, but it doesn't even matter - with a voice like Phillips has, he could serenade you with "O Canada" and you'd swoon. I simply can't stress the beauty of this album enough, and though I'm sure I could give you a few torpid interpretations of specific lyrics, or something like that, I'll end off here.

Because I think I have a better chance of intriguing some of you if the only thing you know about Ladies Love Oracle, really, is that it's in-fucking-credible. And it is. So buy it, or "share" it and burn it, and take a week out of your life to give it a listen once an evening. By the end of those seven days, you'll have a new favorite album...and a whole decade's worth of material by the same artist to enjoy in the future.

Good night.

Narrow Minded

Posted 19 April 2002, 11.18 am by Sickan

Walking the hallways of my high school, looking at all the people.
They all seem so empty and shallow, like there is nothing inside them. I have for months had this feeling – this nagging feeling that they actually were shallow and empty – that all they had inside was water - purified water. Some of them have been sitting in their usual “clans” – the same people same clothes probably same subject of conversation. But today I realised or maybe I have know this all the time but still – I let something come close to me. I was sitting on a bench in a break, smoking a cigarette; I looked at this boy I’ve never really noticed before. He looked like most boys my age, dark hair, brown eyes, wearing normal, yet modern clothes, actually he was a good-looking fellow. He was talking to his friend, looking with interesting eyes listing to whatever his friend told him – but he had this look in his eyes and attitude. I recognised this from my own inner self – he looked like a caged animal, looked like a person bored to death, yet just to some degree satisfied with his life.
This boy looked very briefly up and spotted me, he smiled vaguely and lifted his hand just a little, as if he signalled me. I looked back at him with knitted brows – wondered what he meant with this vague gesture.
Well, this odd scene made me reconsider my rather prejudiced attitude towards people. It made me think; there is quite a lot of people on this school – and they all have lives and loved ones. But its like I’ve never noticed them. It’s like they just belonged to the school inventory – like the tables and blackboards. Surely there are a few people I know here but I never looked at the other people here and thought they had lives outside school.
I realised that I had been narrow-minded. Just like I wanted them to be. I have been wrong – they have lives, and they aren’t just stuffing here. But as I write this I crawl back to the position towards these people, that boy touched my heart in some way – well he made me thing never the less, reconsider my attitude but I’m pretty sure that he have no idea of this. I think he never intended to “gesture” me and he looked at me – scanned the area, nothing more. I over-interpreted that moment, but that does not really matter. The point is that he only for a brief moment make me rethink my place and thought about my fellow students/people.

Microwave Fun!!

Posted 17 April 2002, 8.08 pm by Craig

Take a look at all the fun things you can do with your microwave oven!!

Click here bitch.

Are you as Slacker?

Posted 16 April 2002, 2.00 pm by Craig

Take the What Kind of Slacker are you? Quiz

By the way it's my birthday today... Send me Presents!!!

Wow! A webmaster post!

Posted 15 April 2002, 12.49 am by Alexander

It's been many months since I've done one of these, mainly because they tend to be somewhat dull. I'll keep it brief.

I'm really pleased with the activity on the site of late - loads of great discussion, input and contributions. That's what it's all about after all. But still we need more!

In particular we need more art for the collection. If you've ever drawn or painted or digitally created any art, why not add it to the akpcep database and give it a public airing? It's not there to be judged or rated or even commented on, just as an outlet. I know there are many many creative people who visit and use akpcep, so why not email me some of your work in jpg format, with a brief description?

Remember, the site is what YOU make it.

If you're not a member of the Grinding Shed, or you haven't visited that area of the site for a while, make sure to check out the new and improved intra-site message system and email notification. Also, the karma system seems to be working well. Testament to the mature and responsible nature of your average grinder... *cough*

As always, if you have any questions or comments, or anything you'd like to see implemented on, email me at

- Alexander

Educate thyself!

Posted 14 April 2002, 11.45 pm by Alexander

This was emailed to me by user Janetdoggy. It doesn't really need any introduction, but you should all bookmark it. You never know when you might need it...

The Internet Public Library.

Akpcep's Red Headded Step Child

Posted 14 April 2002, 9.20 am by Berly

I stumbled upon this user submitted articles site. I got a kick out of it. Maybe you will too.

Boring Guys

If I didn't know any better, I'd think this guy is related to our divine one, Alexander. In the spew (message board) section, he posts a thread about how he can't see keeping the site up and running because "Mr. Bank Account is tired of having Mr. WebSite do the grabby-grabby to all his fundage."

Star Wars fanatics - and I why I want to run them through with my lightsaber.

Posted 12 April 2002, 10.52 pm by James

Fans of George Lucas' Star Wars trilogy have always been fanatics. Whether they're bashing their "dorky" counterparts, the Trekkies, or buying the latest Star Wars "Extended Universe" novel (in which Luke Skywalker is 79, Chewie is dead, and every villain from the original trilogy has been cloned...twice), their devotion remains nothing less than rabid. These days, though, even the most devout fans feel the stinging ice pick of doubt needling their respective cerebral cortexes. After 1999's kick-off of the prequel trilogy, The Phantom Menace, they cringed at the thought of Jar Jar Binks' mad-cap encounters with power couplings, or a young Darth Vader's innocent exclamation of "Yippee!"

Almost twenty years of waiting have gone by, and Star Wars devotees are now faced with the possibility of their beloved space-opera being utterly ruined by its own prequels!


Wait. Time out. Please, allow me to interrupt myself.

I am a Star Wars fan myself. I was raised by my mother to adore the classic trilogy, and admittedly, can pretty much recite every line of dialogue from any scene in the seven-hour running time of the cassettes. In other words, I'm a complete loser - it's amazing I've managed to touch a breast or two, being a man who collected Star Wars: CCG cards in middle school and can name the starship and weapon of choice of each of the bounty hunters flashed on the screen for three seconds in the middle of The Empire Strikes Back. Even the sad-looking assassin droid, 4-Lom. Despite my love for these films, however, I don't get my vas deferens twisted up over every quirk and stupid detail of the prequels.

Why, you ask? I guess I just remember some things about the Star Wars saga that others have chosen to forget. Or maybe I have issues with suspending disbelief. Either way, I don't see any of the first three episodes as a perfect template for a prequel to adhere to.. They all had a good amount of cheesiness, a boring spot, or clusters of bad dialogue mixed in with the classic goodness.

Take A New Hope, for example - the beginning of this film can be somewhat tedious, with only a brief look at Darth Vader keeping us interested enough to sit through C3PO's inane belly-aching. If it weren't for the captivating presence of Sir Alec Guiness or Peter Cushing, I'd bet you my mint-edition Chewbacca card that the series never would have taken off. Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, and Harrison Ford didn't really reach a stride until the second film, and without the seasoned veterans around to carry them, they would've fallen flat on their faces.

The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi weren't masterpieces either, I'll have you know. The matte lines in the Battle of Hoth (or Luke's fight with the Rancor, for that matter) make you want to gouge your own eyes out. And people complain today about "fake-looking" computer backgrounds, which I find breathtaking! They also love to complain about poor, "fake-looking" computer-animated Yoda, who's trying his best, dammit! I can't believe they forgot about the stiff, awkward, puppet-y Yoda that very nearly made the Dagobah death scene from Return of the Jedi more of a laugh riot than a tearjerker.

How about repetition? If you watch the series from start to finish, you should count about forty-or-so instances of the hyperdrive breaking down on the Millenium Falcon, or repairs being made by Han Solo and an always-irate Chewie. On the same token, why not listen closely to the dialogue during the climactic duel of Return of the Jedi - a father and son come to blows in the most emotionally charged battle the galaxy has ever known, and all we hear is:

"Search your feelings, father. I feel the conflict within you."
"Your feelings have betrayed you!"
"You shall meet your destiny."
"This is your destiny."
"It is your destiny."
"Feel the hatred swelling in you."
"Use your hatred."
"You will call me Master."
"Soon he will be your Master."
"I will not be turned."
"I shall not turn."
etc. etc.

Selective memories are sad, people. The original Star Wars films weren't perfect, and the prequels won't be either. Face up to it and move on, or the whole damn thing will be ruined for you. It's only a bit of fun, after all.

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I done it in pencil on cotton bond 8 1/2" by 11" in November of 90. I call it "Self Portrait". That's me in the gas mask.

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80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?


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