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Happy Birthday akpcep.com

Posted 17 March 2002, 9.22 pm by Alexander

Well it's been exactly one year since I registered the domain www.akpcep.com. Of course, back then it was all pea-soup green. A lot has happened over the course of a year, and as we all know a year is a long time in internet terms. We've seen sites come and go, people come and go, readers come and go. Such is the ephemeral nature of this medium, I suppose.

Remember all the staff that have passed through? Jam Torkberg - disappeared. Q - went to college I think, James - imploded but is back posting in the shed, thankfully. Ralenth - got sacked, doesn't like me at all anymore. Darkstream - got sacked, still likes me. Andy - got sacked, couldn't take a hint and came back. Nowadays, we have quite a few staff, not that you'd really know it most of the time (HINT). Waldo and Necromanzer/Acheron are the two stalwarts, and I must thank them for their continued loyalty to the site, even Waldo, who I think has written one article in 4 months. Spooky continues to surprise, Shaggy posts irregularly but when he does, it's dynamite.

Personell wise, I think the biggest sea-change came with the introduction of Villager (poached from monochromism.net), The Roach (friend of Waldo's) and Berly (wandered over from dogbomb.co.uk). These three above all others have kicked my ass when it was needed, given hope and inspiration and most importantly their time in abundance. I hope they will continue to do so.

New faces, relatively. Dot, bringing her unique personality to not only the site but the IRC channel, where she rules over us all with her wanton sexuality (well, she does!). Sickan, evil danish fox.. need we say any more? Jake and Jerome - where the hell are you?? And Craigy, loveable Scottish purveyor of totally fucked up links and IRC hi-jinks, double teaming Anton for bestiality jokes.

Talking of Anton, beardy, solemn, comedy-gold dispensing genius of straight talking - much credit is due to the readers of akpcep for it's continued existence, if not success. There are some great grinders in the shed - I can't name them all, Gladiator, Janetdoggy, Amaurote, Jackwright, Alamias and what seems to be about half of the teenage population of Arizona. Obviously without the participation of you horrible lot, the site would cease to exist. Also, many many thanks to the choice few users, some anonymous, who have contributed financially through paypal. I absolutely guarantee this site would not have survived a year without your help.

Not only that, I must thank all the webmasters who have helped me and the site along the way. Kev from teop, akratt, godfader, diva from nochicktrix.com, hollow from hollowearth.co.uk, simon from dogbomb.co.uk, VanGogh from pleasantjourneys and raw from the-flipside.co.uk.

So there's not much left for me to say. The hosting is paid for another year, I own the domain for another year. In theory, there's no reason why in a years time I won't be making yet another stupidly cloying post like this one, thanking everyone and their dog for the success, however minor, of a site about everything visited by nobody.

Please use the comments section to let me know any way you would like to see the site evolve, what improvements can be made and so on. Also leave a message detailing how you came about the site in the first place, if your faculties are sufficiently intact.

Your Metal Gear Solid name

Posted 17 March 2002, 8.42 pm by Alexander

You may well be familiar with Metal Gear Solid, as the second installment has sold more copies than the bible. You may also be aware that in the game, the character's names are some of the most ridiculous ever used in a video game. Now, it seems, that void in your life is about to be filled.

Create your own MGS character name.

Thanks to user Scab for that link.

Conclave Obscurum

Posted 14 March 2002, 5.49 am by Berly

I believe this is a personal portfolio site.

It kindof gives me the willies. Make sure your sound is on for this one.

Conclave Obscurum

Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension

Posted 13 March 2002, 1.53 am by The_Roach

The following is a reader submission from Capt. Vimes. Enjoy!

Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension


Buckaroo Banzai. To those in the know, the very name evokes a sense of mystery, wonder, and good old rock and roll. Dr. Banzai's exploits are legendary, indeed mythic in proportion. He, along with his rock band, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, have saved the world numerous times over, made amazing scientific discoveries, produced four studio albums and a live CD; Live at Artie's Artery, and one cult film.

In 1984, a docudrama based on actual events from Dr. Banzai's life was released and the world got it's first glimpse of what might lie behind the doors of the Banzai Institute and lives of Team Banzai; much celebrated but seldom seen figures such as Reno Nevada, Rawhide, Perfect Tommy, Penny Priddy , and, of course, Dr. Buckaroo Banzai, were brought to the screen and given faces by some of Hollywood's finest young actors, some of which went on to much grander, but not necessarily greater things.

The plot centers on an attempt by the alien Red Lectroids from Planet Ten, who were stranded on Earth in the 30's, to return home and wrest control of their planet from the Black Lectriods, who banished the warlike Reds centuries ago. Dr. Banzai, fresh from breaking the dimensional barrier that might give the aliens a way home, becomes embroiled in the conflict and must stop Lord John Worfin, a Red Lectroid inhabiting the body of Dr. Emilio Lizardo, from using Dr. Banzai's own technology to breach the 8th dimansion and invade Planet Ten. The Black Lectroids will then vaporise Moscow, leaving the then Soviet Union to assume the USA has attacked and starting an all out nuclear war. Needless to say (otherwise you would not be reading this review), Dr. Banzai and his Team prevail, the world is saved, and a new adventure is promised, Buckaroo Banzai vs. The World Crime League.

Buckaroo Banzai, to me, evokes the same sort of feelings that characters like Doc Savage, Sherlock Holmes, and Indiana Jones do. He is an extraordinary man who surrounds himself by friends who will laugh with him, fight for him, and, if need be, die for him; for they know the greatness of the man himself and what he stands for. While he is out there, the world is a much safer place. In a time where our greatest buildings fall about us and madmen laugh at us from afar, it comforts me to know Dr. Banzai is always there.

Ok. Back to the real world. Sorry to break your collective bubbles, but Buckaroo Banzai doesn't exist. Neither do the Hong Kong Cavaliers. The Story begins and ends with the film. Or does it?
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Though the Eighth Dimension has been described as a film one either hates or loves. That is to say, one either accepts the idea that the film is a B-rated docudrama about the worlds preeminate brain-surgeon/physisist/adventurer/rock star and rolls with the bad jokes, low-budget props, and sometimes over the top performances, or one thinks the film is the stupidest film they have ever seen. I choose the former.

The film, when watched by itself, seems not a little silly and a mite low budget. Directed by W.D. Richter (who wrote Big Trouble in Little China, another great cult film) and written by Earl Mac Roush, the film often shows it's budgetary restictions. Sets look cobbled together, props are made from ordinary cake boxes and bubble wrap, some of the dialogue is a bit, well, cheesy. But through it all runs a vein of pure fun. The entire cast seems to be having a great deal of enjoyment at being able to embody these characters and is made up of people who, with a few exceptions, will go into your 'I know that guy from somewhere' file. Check out the following list, along with films you might have seen them in.


Buckaroo Banzai- Peter Weller (Robocop, Screamers)
Penny Priddy - Ellen Barkin (The Big Easy, Wild Bill)
Rawhide - Clancy Brown (Highlander, Starship Troopers)
Perfect Tommy - Lewis Smith (The Heavenly Kid, Wyatt Earp)
New Jersey - Jeff Goldblum (Duh? If you don't know this one, for shame)
John Whorfin /
Emilio Lizardo - John Lithgow (ditto)
Reno - Pepe Serna (Silverado, American Me)
John Bigboote' - Christopher Lloyd (Ditto 2)
John Gomez - Dan Hedaya (Clueless, Alien Resurrection)
John O'Connor - Vincent Schiavelli (Ghost, Tommorrow Never Dies)
Impressive resume's, all.

The great thing about the performances in this film is that, even though some of the dialogue is cheesy and the sitiuations far from normal, the actors take it all very seriously. Peter Weller's protrayal of Dr. Banzai is very understated, lending an air of respectability to some very ridiculous situations. John Lithgow's Lord John Worfin is delightfully nutty, and Ellen Barkin is a woman worth saving the world for. (major hottie alert, especially in that dress. Yum.). Jeff Goldblum's appearance in a suit Tom Mix would be ashamed to wear is a riot, and Christopher Lloyd is at his frustrated best. ("It's not my damn planet, Monkey-boy!").

So, either you "get it or you don't", as I remember one reviewer said when talking about the film. I like to go online and check out some of the Banzai Websites. The official Banzai Institute Website, World Watch Online, and the Buckaroo Banzai FAQ are just a few you can access. It's a blast to see all the BB related stuff that's out there. And with the promise of more adventures on the way, either in TV or Novel form, now is the perfect time to become a Blue Blazer Regular.

That's all for now. See you later and remember "No matter where you go, there you are."

Wild Cards

Posted 13 March 2002, 12.51 am by The_Roach

Wild Cards
George R. R. Martin, Editor

"The alien virus arrived on Earth just after World War II-and the world was never the same. For those who become infected, there are two results: death, or transformation. And depending on the recipient, death is sometimes the preferable outcome. Only a few lucky ones become superhuman aces as a side effect of the virus; the rest are turned into horrible, grotesque jokers. It's a strange and wonderful, terrible and terrifying world where anything can go."
-From the back cover of Wild Cards, Volume 1

Anthology series are always a bit of a risk when you first pick them up. There's the danger that the so-called collaborators aren't really that fond of working with one another, that the character development isn't given the attention it deserves in lieu of the cheap thrill that comes from crossing over stories, or that the characters are so fascinating that you want to beat the crap out of the publishers, writers et al. just to get another book into your grubby, sweaty palms. Were it not for the fact that Wild Cards ended it's run in the early nineties, the third possibility would be true of this intelligent and engaging series of (as they call them) "Mosaic" novels. Each story arc in Wild Cards spans three books, the third of which is a true novel (the first two consist of short stories), with characters (and writers) interacting with each other in a complete story without interruption.

Centering around New York city and it's inhabitants, this comic book fantasy / alternate history begins with the introduction of a virus, engineered by an advanced extraterrestrial race (Takisians), slated for testing on Earth. A lone Takisian, in a moment of blind guilt, comes to Earth hoping to prevent the unleashing of the "Wild Card" virus, which is so unpredictable that the odds of two people reacting identically are astronomical. The fortunate few become "Aces", with powers ranging from flight, to being able to metabolize any substance, and everything in between. The vast majority of those affected, however, become "Jokers". Deformed freaks of nature that are both pitied and feared.


Just like the old-fashioned comics, these stories deal with real conflicts in our society. The "Red Scare", civil rights movement and even AIDS are all viewed through the lives of the characters. Unlike your daddy's comic books, though, they die and they STAY dead. From Croyd Henson (who awakens after every sleep to discover that the Wild Card has dealt him a different effect) to Fortunato (the bad-ass sorceror-pimp), they are emotional, powerful, and flawed, just like the rest of us.

Immensely popular in it's time, Wild Cards is the longest running anthology series ever produced. iBooks has recently picked up the series and is republishing it in it's entirety, with plans to produce an additional two novels afterwards. It looks like my grubby, sweaty palms are going to have their work cut out for them.

Jack the Ripper

Posted 12 March 2002, 8.47 pm by Craig

This is a very interesting site. Find out loads of information about Jack the Ripper, his victims, read his letters and look at official police reports.

Casebook.org.

Jimmy Nail

Posted 12 March 2002, 8.39 pm by Craig

I know I said I'd suck him off for free cable access, but really... a fan site..

What is the world coming to?

McDonalds!!

Posted 12 March 2002, 8.30 pm by Craig

These are detailed instructions on how to make the original bugers you used to enjoy from McDonalds!! Enjoy...

McBurgers Recipes!!

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This art reminds me of the center of the universe with everything having a link to it, representing all the incoming colours to the center.

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80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?

* Alexander wonders if this still works

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Articles posted are copyright the respective authors and may not express the views of akpcep.com. All other content ©Alexander King 2001-2019. ver 4.0
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