Sitenews Minimize
  • 30/12/18
    Fun fact - AKPCEP has a Google Page Speed score of 100/100
  • 26/12/18
    You wonder how any of this worked in the first place.
  • 13/03/09
    Still here! Please visit the forums and join in the discussions. If you have any questions or comments please contact Alexander.
Link Button Minimize
link to https://www.akpcep.com

Use this to link

Valid XHTML 1.0
Valid CSS

IRC Quotes

Posted 4 March 2002, 7.25 pm by Alexander

I don't know how much this will interest you, but this here site is a database of humourous quotes from IRC channels. So dubious is their quality control, there's even some from our very own channel, #akpcep.

Have a browse, see if you can spot em.

Create a Username and Password

Posted 4 March 2002, 3.52 pm by Berly

Wow. I have just experienced something for the first time. I have been…I think I can type it…I have been…

fired.

Fired, laid off, let go…it’s all the same thing. The paychecks will cease to come from a known and familiar source.

This is a strange situation, in that I’ve been given until the 15th of next month to find another job. I still wake up every morning and go into the place that wants me to go away.

I’ve posted my resume on every relevant job finding website I know of. I now spend my time matching the websites to the username/passwords I created. It feels like a vicious game of Memory.

I’m feeling pretty numb at the moment. We all know the typical stages one is to experience when dealing with loss. I can say that this experience is anything but stage-like for me. I’ve felt angry, hysterical, frightened, depressed, enthusiastic, optimistic, excited, saddened, confused…some for days at a time, others for minutes. Other days, I feel them all at the same time. We have been taught that no two things can occupy the same space at the same time. Can two or more emotions occupy the same mind at the same time?

I could be cliché and end this post with a “what is important in life becomes clear when things like this happen” type of line. Instead, I will say that losing your job has this amazing effect of making your last 5 purchases, no matter how worthy they might have been, feel so superfluous. On second thought…perhaps I should work for a greeting card company.

Morbidity

Posted 3 March 2002, 12.05 am by Acheron

It has been said that there are two inevitabilities to life: death and taxes. On a somewhat broader scale, those two sad occurrences are extinction and oppression.

Ignoring, for the moment, our society's self-destructive practices, it is a simple scientific truth that the entropic dissipation of concentrated energy (ie: the burning out of our sun) means that far off in the distant future, humanity will be extinct. Mind you, I'm sure we'll manage to detonate a very large bomb soon and save Mother Nature a few years.

Secondly, the organization of humanity into society is intrinsically linked to the oppression of its less-fortunate members. People want luxury, so they abuse their given/taken power to get said luxury. An equal standard of living for all of the world's many citizens would of course mean poverty for all, by Western standards.

Given these two very unfortunate truths, of which one is metaphysical and the other very tangible, individuals tend to act in one of three ways:

i. Ignorance.

We've all heard tell of Huxley's Soma, and I'm sure we've all retired from a hard day only to, "turn on and tune out." I sometimes wonder how people in the third world cope with their depressing situations (famine, wars, etc.) and then I remember that Africa is in the middle of an AIDS epidemic. At least the ignorant are happy.

ii. Elevation.

Thank you, Plato. Buddhists, Taoists, and goths all around just love to wax philosophical about everything intangible. We're the sort who go off and study Art History in university and shake our heads wistfully at the burning of the library of Alexandria. We still get upset talking about how young Keats was when he died. Net result: eyeliner sales skyrocket among young men.

iii. Action.

On the disgusting end of the spectrum there are those who wail out against economic practices they don't understand by knocking over police fences in Quebec city. On the positive end of the spectrum there are politicians, teachers, and lawyers - educated, hard-working professionals attempting to educate and influence society and its controlling forces. Unfortunately, nobody wants to stop chopping down sequoia trees if it means they can't have two-ply toilet paper.

Where does this leave us? In a collapsing world, rife with wars, terrorism, starvation, extiction, oppression, and a skyrocketing suicide rate throughout the Western world.

Selfish? And?

Posted 3 March 2002, 12.03 am by Villager

Human rights, animal rights, insect rights, tree rights, atmosphere rights. What are perceived as morals dictate that we respect everything, each other, the world around us. That includes standing staunch upon such issues as deforestation, fox-hunting and pollution. Why? Because it makes us feel good to think we've done the Christian thing and treated -everything- as we would wish to be treated ourselves? Because we are pleasant people and naturally hold people and the environment in a position of respect and care? Because we believe that we have no right to be of detriment to the earth and its creations?

Whichever or whatever else it is, it is misguided. By all means, respect your neighbour (but don't try to love him..), a functioning society depends upon such. Respect those around you, create a nice atmosphere and good, useful relations. Respect the people at the other end of the country, you don't want to create a social divide. But do not feel moral compulsion to respect inanimate material and earthly beasts because you think you 'should'. You should not.

The single, lone reason we should be careful as to how much shit we pump into the atmosphere, how many trees we cut down, what animals we render extinct is the effect it will have on us. It is human nature and indeed the nature of nigh all other creations to act out of primarily selfish motive. Self-preservation, self-betterment, improving your immediate environment and quality of life. Natural instincts, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about. Why, then, ought we go to great lengths to see that our interests do little damage to the world around us?

Granted, I have no desire to see my landscape and horizon marred by pollution and industrial development. But I care not a jot about the damage that will result in hundreds of years from now from the activity the modern world undertakes. For my benefit and those like me. Like you. We should take care to avoid ruining things for ourselves, and for our children, but it makes no sense to inhibit ourselves for the benefit of things which fall below us in the food chain. Rape the rainforest. Stop when humans are threatened by it. Pollute the atmosphere, just try to do it discreetly, out of sight and not harmful to us. Hunt foxes, it provides appreciated employment, a jolly good afternoon and maintenance of the countryside which you and I can enjoy. Life owes us nothing, we owe it nothing more in return.

Thorns

Posted 1 March 2002, 11.24 pm by Waldo

Well, America has wrapped up her latest war with a third world nation quite nicely. Old news I know, but this is the equivalent of Mike Tyson kicking my ass. No one's surprised. No one thought for a moment that we'd lose and have to start living under the cruel law of the Koran (or something else that is as equally insipid as the US's constitution). Maybe the practice is doing us some good, getting us ready to fight China (another third world country which just happens to have the worlds largest standing army).

Personally I think it's a good thing, us pissing off the Muslim world, killing families and leaving countries full of desperate people with nothing to lose and the backing of all that lovely oil money we give them. Personally I also think it would be a lot easier to give everyone a free gun with every car/turkey dinner they buy. Could make for some great adverts as well, "Come check out our new 2002 Fords and walk away with a set of keys AND a free gun! *ammo sold separately*" Road rage is excellent fun when you don't drive.

Either way, road rage/arab rage, the job gets done. 'The Job' being that thing mother nature hasn't been doing so well these past hundred years, killing people. Sure there's Ebola and AIDS but AIDS takes too long and it's rate of infection can be controlled by some of the smarter apes and Ebola's never made it to Paris (and if you can't even make it to Paris how can you expect to hit Broadway? Huh, Ebola? Ya Slacker). It's up to us to make up the difference any way to can. We must bomb everyone we can, sew all the earth with salt, poison all the grain and groundwater available, mail anthrax to our neighbors (it wasn't us it was Palestine!) until the death rate overtakes the birth rate and we can finally have peace on earth.

The sheer number of people on this planet is the main cause of most of our suffering and most of the problems people have with the world. If we could all just die we could stop stepping on each other's toes. And if you don't do your part, who will?

Oh, and for once I'm not being a hypocrite, I understand that I'm just as useless and worthless as everyone else and can't do anything to make this world's situation any better and I'll accept death when it's served to me.

AKp live

Posted 1 March 2002, 11.12 pm by Alexander

This review of AKp appeared in a local free magazine.

Throughout history, certain individuals have carved their name forever as a result of their terrible mix of egotism and insecurity. From Napoleon to Hitler to Jim Davison, unspeakable crimes against humanity have been committed thanks to this particular type of psyche. A more common result nowadays is the compulsion to pick up a guitar and eviscerate your insecurities in front of a bunch of strangers who you hope will, for some unknown reason, care. So over the years we've been treated to Lennon, Morrissey, Brian Molko and now, it seems, Alexander King.

Ripping your shirt off half way through a gig while telling the crowd how nobody fancies you is, then, potentially the stuff of greatness. Pretending to be Jarvis Cocker in a prog-rock band, though, probably isn't. King's between song monologues lack the Pulp frontman's deadpan wit and generally only serve to get King some attention - which is a bit unfair on drummer Dan and bassist Gem (another ego alert: King's surname is important enough to get into the band's name; the other two's aren't even important enough to get on the band's website) who provide a tight framework for the singer/guitarist to do his Cocker/Neil Hannon impression over.

Music-wise 'Entrails' encapsulates the Alexander King Project; King flutters and flounces with a soaring falsetto like Brett Anderson with a guitar, Dan and Gem keep it square at the back, there's some occasional delay on the vocals to give an impression of grandeur and - bizarrely - a Gary Moore style guitar solo to finish things off. Such mid-song changes are one of AKP's more impressive features; yes, it smacks of prog-rock but also Smashing Pumpkins at their best, and while King likes to keep things loose and baggy Gem and Dan are savvy enough to pull off the changes smartly.

While seemingly lacking in a raison d'etre apart from publicising Alexander King, the Project have a lot of good ideas that a week of practise wouldn't harm and I suspect would sound better recorded in a decent studio than knocked out live to a handful of skate kids on a Saturday night.

All you ever wanted to know about Trolls

Posted 1 March 2002, 6.43 pm by Berly

A troll is someone who posts or flames in newsgroups or on boards to cause a kind of reaction. AKpCEP has even had one.

The ironic thing about this site W.A.S.T.E. Report is that it give trolls exactly what they want on a grand scale. "World Alliance for the Study of Trolls and E-Scum"

It appears that this site is run by a devoted fan of the X-Files who is determined to prevent any trolls or e-scum from ruining the discussions. It is a very informative, and sometimes humorous report on trolling.

No Explanations.

Posted 1 March 2002, 12.16 am by Waldo

Post-modern. That's where they say we are. The whole digital age, the computer thing, the 'me' generation, the flower children and the dope-heads, it's all a post-modern 'thang'. It's a feeling of being lost, of not knowing what to hang on to from moment to moment and eventually finding out that everything you have been believing in wasn't worth it. It's nihilism or death as our inevitabilities. Sometimes both.

There's the passive nihilism of Buddhism, where the world is empty of value and you seek only to escape through death to nirvana. There's active nihilism, self-destruction focused outward and maybe the term 'death-by-cop' put on the coroner's report. Either way you're seeking to lessen the damage done to you by the world, maybe make things better for those around you by reacting to the sense of meaningless found in response to a scan of the outside world and reacting either with anger or helplessness.

It's hard to know what to care about, what to devote your time and emotional energy to. What makes a cause worthy? What makes the world a better place? It's hard to see the good in something that just keeps moving the way the world does. It's easy to get lost, to lose yourself in the world, in materialism and greed but for those of us who won't or can't, what do we do? Try to change the world? What for? What would change? People certainly don't change, there are too many of them, the good ones die and the bad ones breed. You can surround yourself with the good ones and shut everything else out, but it's still there pounding at the edge of your peripheral vision. You had to be aware of it to push it away and it's not just going to disappear.

Hopelessness breeds and nothing seems worth it. Nothing seems to work. No hope and only faith or drugs to drown your mind in. Kill your brain and live forever it seems. Or kill the flesh and die forever. Nihilism is the only response for those that look at the world and don't look away. But it still leads nowhere.

Archives: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93

Submissions Minimize

0 Articles awaiting authorisation

Users Online Minimize

Members: 1 Guests: 15
Google

Art Collection Minimize
Click for larger image

They were done for an exhibition a couple of years ago . They asked for something to so with the summer. They are mixed media and oil paint on metal advertising boards - for ice cream.


Chat Minimize

Hmph

80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?

Support

If you wish to help AKPCEP grow, please use PayPal.
RSS Newsfeed: https://www.akpcep.com/akpcep.rss
Articles posted are copyright the respective authors and may not express the views of akpcep.com. All other content ©Alexander King 2001-2019. ver 4.0
This page was built in 0.0143 seconds