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Posted 6 March 2002, 2.17 pm by Sickan

Heheh remember that article I wrote about the media..?? Some of you might, I do because it was my first here… but that’s beside the point! Now my roommate is one of those persons you see in the media.

Well it all began one afternoon I came home from school and my roommate and her friend was sitting in the living room, immediately I stepped inside I could feel something was up. My roommate, flew up and came out to meet me by the door, she hugged me and shouted something about being in some sort of contest… I was like, “Umm… ok… well good for you…!” When she calmed a bit down she told me the whole story. She had enrolled herself in some sort of music-competition as a guitarist. The competition was for a TV-station who needed 4 to 5 talented young people who would play in a band and let a camera follow them around. You’ve probably heard of this thing before…

So some days later she went and did the competition and stuff… I waited in anxiety for the result, because this could be the push she needed as an artist. So after two days she came home, and had been selected as guitarist in this concept-band. I had to keep it as a secret as well as a few other selected individuals ho knew about this.
So now my roommate is living in an apartment with 3 strangers whom she has to work with for a pretty long time and whom she might have to have a professional career with.
Imagine yourself in that position; having a camera on you all day long, living together with people you just have to get along with and overnight you are a celeb! Damn…
She actually is coming home this weekend for the first time since she left. And the camera-team is with her… damn… I'm going to be there… heheh that’ll be fun!!

Savoring the moment

Posted 5 March 2002, 10.47 pm by Alexander

This is another superb submission from Alfalfa.

In the dark, smoky, light of the coffee house she stood out from the others. There were a few small tables that cluttered the crowded room. Her head was bent down; her long brown hair gracefully fell in front of her face, resting on the table in front of her. She was writing, her beautiful hands skimmed across the rich, creamy paper. The pen was held in between her perfectly rounded fingertips like it belonged there. Those pale white half-moons on her fingernail seemed to tell her future. She was very absorbed with the words that so smoothly flowed from her hand to the journal. Her little pink lips puckered when she was stuck, and her forehead showed little worry wrinkles. She seemed to find inspiration from the world around her.

Every once in a while, her dark green olive eyes slowly scanned the room taking in all its details. The room was quiet; all of its occupants seemed to be in their own little world, one with out the hustle and bustle of the outside. As she observed, she sipped her chai tea. Her cute little lips barely touched the side of the large mug. The tea was hot, and it steamed up from the cup in small white little wisps. She took very small sips to prevent the warm liquid from burning her, as well as to savor the tea. It seemed more like she was savoring the moment though.

Her hands were clasped around the mug, like clutching it it gave her security,although she was calm. Her perfectly rounded fingertips of her soft silky hands intertwined as she gently held her tea. Her hands were amazing; they had youthful flair and excitement in their soft playful movement. There were slight wrinkles on her palms that only can belong to a woman wise beyond her years. Her left index finger had a small callus that fit perfectly upon the interior of her last knuckle.

She sat up straight and stretched out her legs in front of her, as if she was a cat, rising from an afternoon nap. She was gorgeous, in that unsuspecting way, like the small flower covered by the rest but it still manages to be absolutely breath taking. She had long brown hair that moved like an ocean, graceful and calm. Her beautiful light brown skin fit perfectly with her enchanting green olive eyes. Her lean, muscular body was curvy and graceful. When she walked she stood tall, her long legs strode with confidence.

Everything seemed to fit together when one looked at her. She had a very unique and calming style of dress. It seemed as though she shop at many different shops, some thrift shops, some in the mall, but wherever she bought her clothes-they fit her perfectly. This day she wore long black baggy pants and a dark gray tee shirt. She was also wearing a well-worn knit sweater. It seemed like her grandparents could have made it, it was long, extending a few inches past her waist. It was made of maroon, blue, and teal wool, but by now all the colors faded into one ocean of color. She had with her a large shoulder bag. It was made of an Asian silk print. The bag was large enough for her to carry her journal, books, and even her sketchbook within it.

She sat up straight and stretched out her legs in front of her, as if she was a cat, rising from an afternoon nap. She stood up and strode towards the large window facing the street. For a few moments she stood there and watched the activity of all the people outside, the window was like a television screen. It was a screen into another dimension; the real world. She often got caught up in the peacefulness of the coffee shop. They ran about quickly, too many people rush through life and don't take the time to sit and observe, she thought. Her mysterious, intense eyes looked out into the crowds. Her pupils were bright, hopeful. Into rain of the dark day, she was seemingly searching for someone. Her groomed eyebrows were raised in curiosity. One could only wonder what her eyes were expecting to see.

Suddenly, her face lit up, like the sun shining on dew, in the early spring mornings. Her companion had arrived. They enjoyed a beautiful embrace, they held onto each other like they were never planning to let go. There was nothing sexual about it; you could just feel the warmth and friendship radiating from the pair. Her other was a man, slightly taller than herself. They seemed to be floating on a cloud as they made their way over to her small familiar table.

They noticed nothing but each other. Her nose pointed a line at his, it was rounded just at the tip and it widened when she smiled. She was intently listening to him, her eyes were bright and they shone with joy. She had lit up since he had arrived; she was always smiling this little smile. The smile was barely there; her lips were parted only a bit to where the bottoms of her top teeth showed with her lips slightly curled upwards. Every once in a while, when something delighted her, she smiled a smile so big it seemed to brighten up the room with happiness.

Her and her companion were in their own personal world. It was a world that cared not for the troubles and strife's of its surroundings.

IRC Quotes

Posted 4 March 2002, 7.25 pm by Alexander

I don't know how much this will interest you, but this here site is a database of humourous quotes from IRC channels. So dubious is their quality control, there's even some from our very own channel, #akpcep.

Have a browse, see if you can spot em.

Create a Username and Password

Posted 4 March 2002, 3.52 pm by Berly

Wow. I have just experienced something for the first time. I have been…I think I can type it…I have been…


Fired, laid off, let go…it’s all the same thing. The paychecks will cease to come from a known and familiar source.

This is a strange situation, in that I’ve been given until the 15th of next month to find another job. I still wake up every morning and go into the place that wants me to go away.

I’ve posted my resume on every relevant job finding website I know of. I now spend my time matching the websites to the username/passwords I created. It feels like a vicious game of Memory.

I’m feeling pretty numb at the moment. We all know the typical stages one is to experience when dealing with loss. I can say that this experience is anything but stage-like for me. I’ve felt angry, hysterical, frightened, depressed, enthusiastic, optimistic, excited, saddened, confused…some for days at a time, others for minutes. Other days, I feel them all at the same time. We have been taught that no two things can occupy the same space at the same time. Can two or more emotions occupy the same mind at the same time?

I could be cliché and end this post with a “what is important in life becomes clear when things like this happen” type of line. Instead, I will say that losing your job has this amazing effect of making your last 5 purchases, no matter how worthy they might have been, feel so superfluous. On second thought…perhaps I should work for a greeting card company.


Posted 3 March 2002, 12.05 am by Acheron

It has been said that there are two inevitabilities to life: death and taxes. On a somewhat broader scale, those two sad occurrences are extinction and oppression.

Ignoring, for the moment, our society's self-destructive practices, it is a simple scientific truth that the entropic dissipation of concentrated energy (ie: the burning out of our sun) means that far off in the distant future, humanity will be extinct. Mind you, I'm sure we'll manage to detonate a very large bomb soon and save Mother Nature a few years.

Secondly, the organization of humanity into society is intrinsically linked to the oppression of its less-fortunate members. People want luxury, so they abuse their given/taken power to get said luxury. An equal standard of living for all of the world's many citizens would of course mean poverty for all, by Western standards.

Given these two very unfortunate truths, of which one is metaphysical and the other very tangible, individuals tend to act in one of three ways:

i. Ignorance.

We've all heard tell of Huxley's Soma, and I'm sure we've all retired from a hard day only to, "turn on and tune out." I sometimes wonder how people in the third world cope with their depressing situations (famine, wars, etc.) and then I remember that Africa is in the middle of an AIDS epidemic. At least the ignorant are happy.

ii. Elevation.

Thank you, Plato. Buddhists, Taoists, and goths all around just love to wax philosophical about everything intangible. We're the sort who go off and study Art History in university and shake our heads wistfully at the burning of the library of Alexandria. We still get upset talking about how young Keats was when he died. Net result: eyeliner sales skyrocket among young men.

iii. Action.

On the disgusting end of the spectrum there are those who wail out against economic practices they don't understand by knocking over police fences in Quebec city. On the positive end of the spectrum there are politicians, teachers, and lawyers - educated, hard-working professionals attempting to educate and influence society and its controlling forces. Unfortunately, nobody wants to stop chopping down sequoia trees if it means they can't have two-ply toilet paper.

Where does this leave us? In a collapsing world, rife with wars, terrorism, starvation, extiction, oppression, and a skyrocketing suicide rate throughout the Western world.

Selfish? And?

Posted 3 March 2002, 12.03 am by Villager

Human rights, animal rights, insect rights, tree rights, atmosphere rights. What are perceived as morals dictate that we respect everything, each other, the world around us. That includes standing staunch upon such issues as deforestation, fox-hunting and pollution. Why? Because it makes us feel good to think we've done the Christian thing and treated -everything- as we would wish to be treated ourselves? Because we are pleasant people and naturally hold people and the environment in a position of respect and care? Because we believe that we have no right to be of detriment to the earth and its creations?

Whichever or whatever else it is, it is misguided. By all means, respect your neighbour (but don't try to love him..), a functioning society depends upon such. Respect those around you, create a nice atmosphere and good, useful relations. Respect the people at the other end of the country, you don't want to create a social divide. But do not feel moral compulsion to respect inanimate material and earthly beasts because you think you 'should'. You should not.

The single, lone reason we should be careful as to how much shit we pump into the atmosphere, how many trees we cut down, what animals we render extinct is the effect it will have on us. It is human nature and indeed the nature of nigh all other creations to act out of primarily selfish motive. Self-preservation, self-betterment, improving your immediate environment and quality of life. Natural instincts, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about. Why, then, ought we go to great lengths to see that our interests do little damage to the world around us?

Granted, I have no desire to see my landscape and horizon marred by pollution and industrial development. But I care not a jot about the damage that will result in hundreds of years from now from the activity the modern world undertakes. For my benefit and those like me. Like you. We should take care to avoid ruining things for ourselves, and for our children, but it makes no sense to inhibit ourselves for the benefit of things which fall below us in the food chain. Rape the rainforest. Stop when humans are threatened by it. Pollute the atmosphere, just try to do it discreetly, out of sight and not harmful to us. Hunt foxes, it provides appreciated employment, a jolly good afternoon and maintenance of the countryside which you and I can enjoy. Life owes us nothing, we owe it nothing more in return.


Posted 1 March 2002, 11.24 pm by Waldo

Well, America has wrapped up her latest war with a third world nation quite nicely. Old news I know, but this is the equivalent of Mike Tyson kicking my ass. No one's surprised. No one thought for a moment that we'd lose and have to start living under the cruel law of the Koran (or something else that is as equally insipid as the US's constitution). Maybe the practice is doing us some good, getting us ready to fight China (another third world country which just happens to have the worlds largest standing army).

Personally I think it's a good thing, us pissing off the Muslim world, killing families and leaving countries full of desperate people with nothing to lose and the backing of all that lovely oil money we give them. Personally I also think it would be a lot easier to give everyone a free gun with every car/turkey dinner they buy. Could make for some great adverts as well, "Come check out our new 2002 Fords and walk away with a set of keys AND a free gun! *ammo sold separately*" Road rage is excellent fun when you don't drive.

Either way, road rage/arab rage, the job gets done. 'The Job' being that thing mother nature hasn't been doing so well these past hundred years, killing people. Sure there's Ebola and AIDS but AIDS takes too long and it's rate of infection can be controlled by some of the smarter apes and Ebola's never made it to Paris (and if you can't even make it to Paris how can you expect to hit Broadway? Huh, Ebola? Ya Slacker). It's up to us to make up the difference any way to can. We must bomb everyone we can, sew all the earth with salt, poison all the grain and groundwater available, mail anthrax to our neighbors (it wasn't us it was Palestine!) until the death rate overtakes the birth rate and we can finally have peace on earth.

The sheer number of people on this planet is the main cause of most of our suffering and most of the problems people have with the world. If we could all just die we could stop stepping on each other's toes. And if you don't do your part, who will?

Oh, and for once I'm not being a hypocrite, I understand that I'm just as useless and worthless as everyone else and can't do anything to make this world's situation any better and I'll accept death when it's served to me.

AKp live

Posted 1 March 2002, 11.12 pm by Alexander

This review of AKp appeared in a local free magazine.

Throughout history, certain individuals have carved their name forever as a result of their terrible mix of egotism and insecurity. From Napoleon to Hitler to Jim Davison, unspeakable crimes against humanity have been committed thanks to this particular type of psyche. A more common result nowadays is the compulsion to pick up a guitar and eviscerate your insecurities in front of a bunch of strangers who you hope will, for some unknown reason, care. So over the years we've been treated to Lennon, Morrissey, Brian Molko and now, it seems, Alexander King.

Ripping your shirt off half way through a gig while telling the crowd how nobody fancies you is, then, potentially the stuff of greatness. Pretending to be Jarvis Cocker in a prog-rock band, though, probably isn't. King's between song monologues lack the Pulp frontman's deadpan wit and generally only serve to get King some attention - which is a bit unfair on drummer Dan and bassist Gem (another ego alert: King's surname is important enough to get into the band's name; the other two's aren't even important enough to get on the band's website) who provide a tight framework for the singer/guitarist to do his Cocker/Neil Hannon impression over.

Music-wise 'Entrails' encapsulates the Alexander King Project; King flutters and flounces with a soaring falsetto like Brett Anderson with a guitar, Dan and Gem keep it square at the back, there's some occasional delay on the vocals to give an impression of grandeur and - bizarrely - a Gary Moore style guitar solo to finish things off. Such mid-song changes are one of AKP's more impressive features; yes, it smacks of prog-rock but also Smashing Pumpkins at their best, and while King likes to keep things loose and baggy Gem and Dan are savvy enough to pull off the changes smartly.

While seemingly lacking in a raison d'etre apart from publicising Alexander King, the Project have a lot of good ideas that a week of practise wouldn't harm and I suspect would sound better recorded in a decent studio than knocked out live to a handful of skate kids on a Saturday night.

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They were done for an exhibition a couple of years ago . They asked for something to so with the summer. They are mixed media and oil paint on metal advertising boards - for ice cream.

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80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

Yo ! Does this work ?


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