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Still here.

Posted 15 January 2002, 8.45 pm by Alexander

Recently, I've noticed something that I thought would never happen has started itself in motion.

The net is losing it's novelty.

Sure I spend most of my freetime connected, but more frequently than ever interaction with other online people leaves me depressed, frustrated, or angry. I find myself going around in ever decreasing circles, with akpcep.com as the center. I just get the feeling I've seen everything. I worked for a death site for 3 months, one day I viewed roughly 1500 images of dead people. That was boring. I just know there's more out there. The internet is immense, why do I only have 20 sites on my favourites list?

I feel like I've grown up in a small secluded village, and I've grown up. I want to leave and see what exists past my garden gate.

P.S. If you want to write for this site, mail me. I'm looking for front page writers, and writers for new sections reviewing movies, music and books. I'll explain more to those who express an interest.

On the Human Purpose

Posted 12 January 2002, 6.56 pm by Shaggy


Every human being has an aim. Whether it be benign or malignant, preposterous or rational, there is a tiny passion inside even the most inanimate of the living which is a driving force: a mother strives to protect her child, a father strives to educate his young, the philosopher strives to see the most of wisdom. The inanimate strive to survive, or they perish. The perishable strive to see a better world on the other side.

It is this "aim" in which humanity survives. If one has a purpose, whatever the case may be, one will exist that much longer to see it through, even if that passion is not horribly not constructive. The alcoholic lives to see another empty bottle, the television addict strives to see another showcase, the pessimist lives to prove how terrible the world is.

In the "aim" we are united. Yet, in this very unity, we have very many subcategories that divide us. One person's aim can be the very destruction of another. It is this unity of well-being that has led to many sociological and political issues. How does that which will destroy be avoided?

Violence is the easiest concept that the human condition must shed. Passionate discharge is followed by discharge is followed by discharge. The angry begat the angered, and the circle, once begun, is never solved. An action that presupposes itself can never be destroyed unless the original action ceases.

This is the problem: never, in the history of humanity, has one person ever been able to have enough stature as to make the entire world listen to his/her very words, and to follow. So the end of violence must not come from the advice of any human: it must come from a source that we can all share and worship. Fascism leads to jealousy, unless the leader who rules us all is not of the human race. It is highly impossible that we will ever find a leader in the animal kingdom. Thus, we must worship the cross, the Kabballa, the Koran, the Latin Vulgate, the Old Testament, Mathematics, and any such dogma, religious or otherwise, in the hopes that it is not rooted in lies, and that we will be visited by that which can deliver us from our selves.

And so we wait together.

Yet what if we can provoke this ethereal and surreal creature to come to our aid? Our pleads and prayers have, as of yet, kept us from a second coming of any such omnipotent creator, but we truly need divine intervention. Yet, if what we are told is true, the second coming may very well be the end of the human race.

Is it possible that our only salvation is through our own destruction?

Another possibility is in a message which is not delivered by this creator Himself, but rather from an intermediary. The writer often finds himself staring back at words that might not seem his own. This sort of "possession" could lead mankind to trust a message even if it is delivered from his/her own faulty race.

Yet how do we convince the entire world that a message is not altered, and has, indeed, been passed directly from another race, of divinities, and is merely "passed on" to the hands and lips of the human intermediary?

This is also a difficult prospect, for often the most bold of claims can be seen as mental disorder, or cerebral chaos. How do we trust our own flesh?

Simply put, I cannot see any way that even I could trust my own kind. We are a faulty bunch, and thus not prone to be trusted. All that is lacking for world peace is a universal message, and yet this is the most impractible of all events. For the message cannot pass from lips, but from the air around us, from the ground underneath our feet, or from the clouds above our heads. We need the Mother to call unto us, and beg us of our mercy. And yet, we have often heard this cry. The earth is passing into failing, and yet still some cling to their guns, their nuclear weapons, and their knives. Even fists must be rid in order for our Mother to be soothed, but there is no prospect for the loss of these things.

So, even though I know it to be only to be disregarded, I beseech all of Earth to hear our Mother's cry, to not wait until the seond coming to hear of violence's hideous and insipid circle of torture before you lay down your arms.

I fear the Earth has not much more patience for us as it stands now, let alone if we tempt her even further.

Why you're not as cool as you think you are

Posted 12 January 2002, 2.38 pm by Alexander

I was discussing with my good iFriend Anton today in the akpcep IRC chan about music or somesuch and he asserted his mates uncle was a better guitarist than me. I said "Most likely". This got me thinking - unless I was Hendrix, or Stevie Ray Vaughan, or whoever the best guitarist ever is/was, there will always be a better guitarist.

This applies to everything. Think you're good at hacking linux boxes? There's a guy called Keith in Melbourne Australia who fucking 0wns j00. Too bad. Think you're a great dancer? This girl called Mary in New York just won her 10th dance award. Makes you look like an epileptic rhino. Shit eh?

We should always strive to be the best we can, but accept our limitations. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

Johnny 5

Posted 10 January 2002, 6.11 pm by Villager

We live in an artificial environment. Everything around us, the houses we live in, the paths we walk on, the entertainment we use - even the goddamn food we eat is full of crap that could probably power a rocket - and nobody bats an eyelid about it anymore. It is the norm for people to take in considerable, constant doses of harmful substances, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine - all as part of a typical 'diet'. We are also subjected to equally harmful elements in the outside world, car fumes, radiation, etc.

This combination of toxins and chemicals, artificial ingredients and drugs - this combination cannot be good for you. The human body was not meant to process such a vast quantity of dangerous elements - and there's no way that in the past 200 years of industrialisation and modernisation that it has evolved to do so.

The effect of this concoction? Do we simply change as humans, and behave, live slightly differently and somehow survive despite the massive influences? Or have we changed as a people, our lifestyles irrevocably artificial in so many ways, and become somehow separate from our ancestors in a way which none alive can change, and none unborn can escape?

System Overload

Posted 9 January 2002, 2.52 am by Villager

We are born. We grow up amid a stream of information, education; learning. Like little sponges we soak up the environment around us - both natural and that which the state inflicts upon us - and we grow, physically and intellectually. Our intelligence is accelerated, our minds stimulated and we become adults.

New thoughts replace old ones, new ideas, concepts, principles and beliefs creep into our lives and what we define as our personality is constantly in flux. Who we are one year is often unrecognisable a year later, often physically as well as mentally. Our struggles in life leave many scars, physical and emotional, scars which do not always heal all the way over.

Passage of life and of time. We grow, we develop, we evolve as people. Does anything remain of the infants who looked up at their parents and smiled in wide-eyed wonder, so many years ago? Or do our respective environments constantly shape and reshape us, so that who we were 1, 5, 10 or 50 years ago becomes nothing more than memory and old photographs?

For We All Have Wings

Posted 7 January 2002, 3.00 pm by Berly

How many times have you said to yourself "He/She had every chance in the world to do something with him/her self, but didn't. What a shame." I've said it. Only now, I have stopped to think about what I'm really thinking when I say that.

What do I mean by "do something with him/her self"? Do I arrogantly imply that what they have chosen to do is somehow lesser deserving than what I think I would have chosen for that person? What I think I would have chosen?

What do I mean when I say "every chance?" Do I mean the fact that this person had wealth sufficient enough to be some wonderful being, and they are not? Do I mean that my analysis of their mental capacity and talent shows that they have somehow fallen short of that which I think they should have strived for? My analysis?

Am I a socially conditioned snob? Have I allowed society's version of what is an admirable goal to cloud my opinion of those who perhaps chose to do something else?

I'd like to think that no, I don't possess any of these qualities that I've described above. I believe that having goals is what is important. Attainment of those goals - regardless of the path - is success for each individual. I want to believe that this is regardless of what society says one should do, or how one should get there.

Perhaps I need to modify what I've been saying. "He/She had goals, but later abandoned them. That spark in his/her eyes is now gone. That is too bad." Then again, who asked me anyway?

The Perfect Christians

Posted 7 January 2002, 9.36 am by marilee

At one point in my life my family consisted of: a Theatre Director, a Designer, two Opera Signers, a Philosopher, a Technical Director, a Fashion Designer, an Art and Antique Collector, a Pianist, an Engineer, a preppy little boy in theatre company, a melodramatic activist poet and a group of perfect Christians. Now, does anything seem out of place here? Well, if you knew them, the perfect Christians would. Not because of their religion but because of how absolutely perfectly plain and oblivious they all are. The kids are good at everything from music to academics. The parents belong to clubs and attend Church every week. Their house is huge and the toys they buy themselves seem outrageous to me. I might be justified in my feelings towards them or maybe I am just jealous of their lifestyle, I am never quite sure.

To the rest of our family they look like millionaires, but only because of the extravagant luxuries they buy for themselves. As Christians I would want to believe they would take notice of people in need, especially family members, but sadly, the worst off of us are constantly overlooked. When the Pianist started to fade, slowly slipping away from us with every painful breath, they only came to visit at the very end. We had been there every day for more than a year, praying and doing our best to help. But they said it was too painful. Painful for whom? Them or her?

It's my immediate family who will always give money without a second thought to our brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles when they are in need. The Christians give money to their Church without a second thought but hesitate or ignore when asked from us. It confuses my family no end because they are not cruel people. They aren't bad people. I truly believe they try. Yet somehow they very rarely seem to get to right.

Despite the fact they call themselves Christians I believe that their Church is solely a community and nothing more and the rest of us, no matter how flaky and godless, seem to be better Christians in the true sense of the word.

A wonderful Christmas

Posted 6 January 2002, 9.01 pm by Shaggy

Things will admittedly be a little slow for me, but I will guarantee that I will post as much as usual. My time on the computer will be limited, since I am forced to use the school computers, but don't worry! I will disobey the school rules on using the net for purposes other than of the university!

(A stupid rule, really... ahem. But it keeps the students away from porn.)

At any rate, during my christmas, I got a wonderful bit of reading. My girl got me The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, The Complete Dialogues of Plato, and four plays by Aristophanes. Her dad got me The PocketBook Nietszche (if I've spelled that last one wrong, dreadfully sorry)

At any rate, with Christmas over, with school looming overhead like a swift bird of prey, I will try and keep up with you all.

To Dot: a belated welcome.

To Everyone: A belated HAPPY XMAS AND NEW YEAR

And for the record, for those who think I was not posting because I was perhaps gone to jail and killed by a large con... the reports were highly exaggerated.

Now that the introductory dribble is gone, I will write a quick note. I am now an optimist. It took about four months of conditioning from my girlfriend, but I am now an optimist. The glass is half full.

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, oddly enough, in searching for my "aim", I have found that there is no reason not to be an optimist. As Nietzsche said (once again apologizing for any bad spelling): "If you think your life has purpose enough to get out of bed, why do you stop thinking that in the afternoon?" Well, okay, so that is a summary, but it makes sense, n'est pas?

And as for the ubermensch (translated: Overman)... well, I am fighting to understand a way to transcend this mortal coil, to transcend "man" and become something more, something that surpasses, and makes us to mankind as life is to goop.

But at any rate, food beckons. I've had a long trip. Something about a 6 hour trip perturbs me so.

I will write again!

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This art reminds me of the center of the universe with everything having a link to it, representing all the incoming colours to the center.

MortisDeus

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Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness

Hmph

80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.

lol we all know you don't have a soul ghoti

my soul for some carbs...

But of course!

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