The Grinding Shed: Who Are You? - The Grinding Shed

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Who Are You? Not to be confused with "Who are you?"

#16 User is offline   Jake Icon

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Posted 14 April 2005 - 12:48 AM

What's even sadder is that if I had followed my first impression, 3 out of 5 people who I gave a chance and they ended up being fuckholes in the end would have never entered my life.
"so long to you 'moderates', yeah, it's time for getting down/your peace and quiet is criminal/while there's injustice in your town" - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
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#17 User is offline   Aqua Icon

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Posted 14 April 2005 - 07:34 PM

I'm finding that to be the same with me too, Jake. Tis very sad.

And unfy's right- it's not necessarily absolute, but it does register rather strongly in one's brain.
Ars longa vita brevis est.
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#18 User is offline   scotts Icon

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Posted 14 April 2005 - 11:49 PM

Quote

The sad thing about all of this is that, no matter who you may actually be, when meeting someone you have (as i've heard) a mere several seconds before an immediate first impression, the strongest, is imprinted in their brains.


To put a positive spin on this, I'm continually amazed at how wrong my first impressions usually are. Most of my closest friends are people who, for one reason or another, really rubbed me the wrong way when I first met them. Conversely, many of the people who I was initially impressed with often ended up out of my mind altogether, or in worst cases, seeming fake or superficial.

Guess that says a lot for my intuition.. LOL.. it ain't worth a shit. But it's been great for me, because now I've learned to never put too much stock into those first impressions and to give someone a second chance. I hope people do the same for me, cause I know I've made an ass of myself in a few first impression scenarios.. LOL.. and second impressions.. and so forth :rolleyes:
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#19 User is offline   Jake Icon

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 01:26 AM

Unforgiven, on Apr 14 2005, 02:48 PM, said:

Yeah, but Jake, then you miss the others that you wouldn't have given a chance, but ended up being decent people.

</hypocrisy>

a few broken eggs = omelet of happiness.
"so long to you 'moderates', yeah, it's time for getting down/your peace and quiet is criminal/while there's injustice in your town" - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
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#20 User is offline   Green Mamba Icon

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 12:10 PM

I've learnt to trust my first impressions. Every time I originally thought that somebody was an asshole, but ignored it, they eventually turned out to be assholes. Also, I've found that dogs are much better judges of character than people (unless someone has bacon in his/her pocket). If your dog doesn't like someone, don't trust that person (unless your dog is a frikkin psycho killer that tries to bite everyone). Then you're pretty much one your own...
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#21 User is offline   scotts Icon

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 03:45 PM

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If your dog doesn't like someone, don't trust that person (unless your dog is a frikkin psycho killer that tries to bite everyone). Then you're pretty much one your own...


hmm.. I wouldn't trust this too much.. I think a lot of dogs have personality/mental issues. They probably get them from us! B)

My roommate had a dog who loved people, but would occasionally pick out a person and bark and growl as if they were a demon. It was really unnerving, and uncomfortable for everyone, especially the 'target.' The dog did this to some poor kid, probably about 9 years old, at the park once. Sure, I considered that the kid might be evil (LOL), but other dogs in the park had no problem running up to him and letting him pet them, play with them, etc.

The dog also singled out our buddy's girlfriend, which we thought was hilarious.. She stopped coming around the house. :P
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#22 User is offline   saffron Icon

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Posted 10 May 2005 - 01:38 AM

I did this recently as an exercise in my diary. I wrote it in the third person because it felt somehow less vulnerable to do it that way. It first appeared in my online diary.

Who She Is Now

She is restless, full to bursting with stories she hasn't yet learned how to tell. She tires easily of drama, but occasionally invites it because it is familiar. She has a mean-streak that comes out with less frequency, but don't you ever forget that she's capable of doing you right up the ass without lube with her words. She isn't proud of this. She's aware of it, though, and if she does you like that, you can be sure of two things: You brought it on somehow, because it takes a lot to get her there, and she doesn't really care if you can find it in your heart to forgive her.

She's learned to tell her story with her eyes closed and her back turned so you, if you are so moved, can touch her gently on the shoulder or walk away. She doesn't think you owe her anything and she's come to expect the kick that comes when she's down. She's a bit feral, no doubt, but she wears her muzzle most of the time.

She still loves to the bottom of her being and believes it comes from the highest part of herself, but she might not tell you she does. She might tell you she thinks highly of you. She might express her admiration. She will secretly harbour a bottomless pit of love which she will shower on you if you let her.

Words mean less now. Actions mean infinitely more. She's come to understand that she is very good at words and not so good at actions. She's working on saying more with her hands and eyes and gifts of time.

She still drinks. She wonders about her drinking sometimes. She drinks in a very controlled manner most of the time, which is most of why she wonders about it.

She has had a much easier time forgiving those who've trangressed against her than she has forgiving herself for letting them transgress. There are things she's done that she will never forgive herself for.

She has a strange moral code that no one else seems to share. She believes in being desire led. She believes that nothing happens to anyone that they don't somehow allow or invite. She believes that we are all responsible for where we find ourselves. She questions that sometimes, but believing this keeps her honest with herself about what life she's creating for herself, so she's not ready to let it go yet.

She has greed. Greed to write. Greed to be who God intended for her to be. Greed for love. She is learning to settle for some things and not for others. A full time job she can tolerate, she'll settle for. Bad love, she won't. Poverty, she'll settle for. Spiritual bankruptcy, she won't.

She has lost

so

much.

She has found more.

She believes losing everything teaches one about what matters. She doesn't attach herself to things anymore. She has treasures in two countries, in boxes or trash cans - things she believed she couldn't live without, gifts she's cherished - and she has discovered that she really can live without them.

She still resents having to, though.

She understands that some people are just like oil to her water. She understands that this is not a matter of fault or deficiency. It

just

is

and she's learning to be okay with that.

She has a list now by which she checks her reactions to people's opinions. It is working. It includes questions like

Do I live with you?

Do I work for you?

Do you pay my fucking rent?

No?

Then what the hell do I care what you think of me?

If she can answer the last question in a way that satisfies her, she continues caring. If she can't, she lets go.

She isn't grown up yet. She is thirty-six going on twenty. She hopes that's okay with the people she loves, but knows she really can't do anything about that but keep

on

growing

so she

keeps

on

growing

and knows that whoever is standing when all her little dust storms clear is worth her time.

The rest

aren't.

Period.

She is not a natural mother. She doesn't know how to just love people who depend so much on her. She does her best but realizes that she is most likely going to spend her life savings on therapy for her kids.

She is okay with that. They are alive and healthy and, though somewhat fraught with issues, she is proud to be standing ready to help them deal with those issues. She is not only willing, but eager to admit to herself, God, and her children that she failed them. She isn't willing to excuse them when they behave like assholes, though, and stands just as ready to call them out. No excuses.

You can't ruin your life and blame it on me. Been there. Done that. It doesn't work. You can try, and I will love you through it, but I will also do everything in my power to empower you to own your own life, because if somoene had done that for me I'd be thirty-six going on retirement to a house in fucking Tuscany, because I'd have gotten so much farther than I have.

Then again, I wouldn't have had you, either. Nor would I have loved the loves I've loved, and believe me when I tell you this: They made me. Even the bad ones. And I'm so fucking glad to have been made into this me that I am.

I think that sums it up.

She is glad to be who she is.
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#23 User is offline   Lithia Icon

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Posted 01 June 2005 - 05:48 PM

Wow....

Mine is shorter than that:

I am in a constant state of flux.

I hold my opinions lightly, because if you can prove to me that your point of view is better, i will change my mind.

I change my mind a lot.

I change my home a lot.

I change how i feel about people a lot.

I don't change my socks enough....

Who is Lithia?

My real name is cyprusudo, does that help?
I've gone to look for myself. If I should get back before I return, keep me here!
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