The Grinding Shed: Like The Std You Never Wanted, I'm Back. - The Grinding Shed

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Like The Std You Never Wanted, I'm Back.

#1 User is offline   VanGogh Icon

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 05:43 PM

Hello All.

VanGogh here, returning to the boards like a misplaced prodigal son, minus the wealth, fame, or any sense of entitlement. I thought I better check in before you sold my stuff on eBay. (And you would, wouldn’t you?)

So, for those of you scratching you skulls and saying, “VanWHO?” I’m old school. Emphasis on old. Need proof? I’m member number 24 on this board. I don’t actually know what that means… But if I say it with a serious tone and sort of scrunch down my eyebrows, then perhaps you’ll be impressed. And I’m also one of the resident Houdini’s… which is to say that I have a longstanding habit of posting for awhile, and then disappearing. Occasionally I resurface for months at a stretch.. then *poof*, gone again. (To which the peanut gallery remarks: “It’d be a better trick if he stayed gone.)

As you might imagine, this creates an intense sense of worry in all of those who know me here. I will not be at all surprised if this post generates upwards of one or two responses from people saying incredibly emotional things like, “Oh… you’re still alive huh?”

But enough about my almost immeasurable impact upon this fine community.

I see that Alex has rolled out a new version of the board again. I went into my profile a little while ago. There is a new box for friends. The forum is cheerfully informing me that I have no friends. It is my personal opinion that the forum is a judgmental bastard.

So when last we spoke I had poked my head above the water just long enough to gasp out that I was engaged, and that as far as I could tell, the woman involved wasn’t drunk when she said ‘Yes’. Well, I’m still engaged and still getting married in October. (The 13th for those of you keeping track. And hey, what else do you have to do?)

The wedding preparations are in full swing now. The wedding dress has been purchased, and yesterday the last bridesmaid paid for her dress. The cake is decided, and we have the venue reserved. Hell, we even found a man with both the credentials and moral flexibility to allow me to participate in a revered ceremony such as marriage. Yes, we are well on our way to mortgaging our entire future for one day of dinner, dancing and drinking.

Life has been entertaining this past year. I’ve got a new girl, a new house, a new job. I haven’t gotten any new hair, but an interesting race has developed on the top of my head. Place your bets now… My hair is both falling out, and going white. So, will I go completely bald first, or will the remaining hair turn white, and then fall off? I don’t know what the Vegas odds makers are saying, but I’m pulling for bald. It was here first.

But I digress… I’ve went semi-legitimate with a regular 8 – 5 job in internet application development and training. I work for a leader in our particular industry, and we have a really big campus. Multiple buildings, skywalks, cafeterias, and enough cube bound employees to ensure that Dilbert never goes out of style. I spend a lot of time mapping network printers on other floors and then printing phantom work requests. Last week I spent twenty minutes trying to find my cube, only to realize I was on the wrong damn floor.

That aside, I dig the job and I work with a good team of people. Also, I get to wear a security badge with my name and picture on it, so if I’m ever hit by a car and left with amnesia, I’ll be way ahead of the game.

So anyway… Life is going well. I’m developing a little free time in my routine, so I thought I’d check in with my preferred group of ruffians online. And of course, I’m dispensing little knowledge nuggets to assist you in the future.

Today’s Lesson: When you future step-son asks if he can borrow the van for a minute, what he means is until it runs out of gas. Or until he ignores the prevailing wisdom of traffic laws and turns left into oncoming traffic, causing an accident that makes the evening news. So far, both have happened.

So how the hell are you?
And the horse you rode in on...

#2 User is offline   shaggy Icon

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 06:57 PM

Well, I just recently went to the bathroom so all is well and I feel relieved.

Thanks for asking, VG.
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#3 User is offline   Reliquiae Icon

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 08:45 PM

I am well, as well. Did I just push a child down a well? Oh well.


Nice to meet you Van Gogh. ^_^
"It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing." - Terry Pratchett

#4 User is offline   Alexander Icon

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 09:20 PM

VG you're a goddamned legend.

Glad to hear that "reality" (as we know it) is treating you well.
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#5 User is offline   grapey Icon

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Posted 08 June 2007 - 12:36 AM

I'm glad that you poked back in.

I was just looking at your profile the other day so I could send you an email/private message.
Don't feel special though, I sent our esteemed leader Alex basically the same thing I'm going to send to you. :P

BTW, thanks for the info Alex! Just looking to gather as many opinions as possible.

So VG, congrats again on the engagement and pending nuptials. We all want to see pictures of the big event. Well, I do anyways. :D
Any big honeymoon plans?

And how's your sis and her baby doing?
At last....

#6 User is offline   HockeyGod Icon

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Posted 11 June 2007 - 01:24 AM

wow, you're alive... congrats on that. 8-5? that sucks.

I did the whole 8:30-6 thing before... i'm glad to be back in a 9-5 now.

Is it just me or are the companies that only have 9-5 work hours going to get all the best employees pretty soon.
Just another face in a faceless crowd; just another king in a headless crown.
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#7 User is offline   VanGogh Icon

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Posted 11 June 2007 - 03:49 PM

View PostAlexander, on Jun 7 2007, 06:06 PM, said:

VG you're a goddamned legend.

Alex, if by "legend" you mean "a woeful tale of warning told to misbehaving children", then by all means, yes.

Good to see you all above ground and not currently incarcerated.

Grapes baby, how are ya? My sisters are both very well. The middle one has again begot life upon the earth, and I am now a happy Uncle twice over. In fact, I am to be my new little niece’s Godfather this weekend at her baptism. (Naturally, I’ve been walking around all week talking in a raspy voice and making people lots of deals they can’t refuse.) My nephew just turned two a few months ago, so he has now added walking and talking to his already amazing list of skills such as losing the remote control and spilling things on the carpet.

As luck would have it, my youngest sister is actually coming home today for a week of leave from the Army, so the whole gang will be together. (A fact certain to be noted and carefully documented by the FBI.)

My beloved and I have rented a private cottage up in Amish country for a week. We were going to honeymoon in San Francisco, but decided to make that a first anniversary present to ourselves instead. So we’ll be getting down and dirty in Amish Country, doing really risqué things like showing ankle and running around without a hat in public.

HG, I actually rather like the whole 8-5 thing. It is a very relaxed atmosphere with an almost unlimited supply of office supplies. And did I mention the beauty of a guaranteed pay check? What more could a post-modern man ask for?

This post has been edited by VanGogh: 11 June 2007 - 03:53 PM

And the horse you rode in on...

#8 Guest_Unforgiven_*

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 01:16 AM

VG... I was wondering where the hell you went. Hi.

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