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  1. Lighthouse, By Tony Parker

    Posted 7 Mar 2009

    Interview with the ex-wife of a lighthouse keeper:

    "For about the first year it seemed to work all right, then I did definitely start to notice a change in Simon. Before when there'd been an overdue he hadn't seemed to mind. But it started getting obvious after a while he was obsessed with the place and couldn't wait to go back. I was spending two months thinking about him coming home; then when he did come he spent his entire month ashore thinking about nothing else but going back. I couldn't understand how anyone could be like that, particularly someone who'd been so fond of his home and of me.

    I never did find out what it was about the place he thought was so marvellous. Time and again I tried to ask him and discuss it, but all he ever said was he felt happy there on a tower in the middle of the sea. It was almost as though he'd got another woman out there; or the lighthouse was another woman he loved more than me.

    I was jealous; I felt I was in competition with it for his affections. What really put the lid on it was after about two years he'd been there, he was home for his month and he heard one of the other keepers had been taken ill and had to be brought ashore. Simon was on the phone straight away volunteering to go back when he'd only been home under a fortnight. I could hardly believe my ears when I heard him ringing up. I told him if he was serious, if he did go back then that was the end. I'd pack up and take the children and bring them back to my parents.

    He went, and I'm not the sort of person who says something and doesn't mean it, so I did pack up and come back here. I thought that would shock him; I thought when he came ashore and found he hadn't a home or a family to go to he'd realize what being in the tower was doing to him. If he did he didn't care, because he made no move to even try to come and see me.

    I wrote him a letter saying I was prepared to have one more try for the sake of the children. I said if he put in a transfer I'd go to any other station and start again, even if it meant living in Trinity House cottages. From all I've heard about Trinity they're good about that sort of thing; if a man said he wanted to move because he was having domestic difficulties I think they'd move heaven and earth to give it to him. But he just wrote back and said he thought the best thing we could do was get divorced. It seemed to me if a man had got into that state, when he was prepared to write off his wife and children for the sake of a job, then it must be a terrible sort of job. Six months later he got transferred from the tower but he still didn't approach me. He's probably going to be on rocks and towers for the rest of his life, because to all intents and purposes he's a single man again.

    This was two years ago, no nearly three now. I feel very bitter about it. Whether I shall ever get married again or not I don't know; if I do it'll ceertainly not be to another lighthouse keeper. Some people seem able to manage the life. And I still think that if it came to it I could. I think I proved that, because I did it during the time he was SAK and for the years he was on the rock light. So I can't look on it any other way than it was was the life on tower which changed him.

    Occasionally you see a mention of the place in the newspapers or hear its name; whenever I do I can't help it, just to hear it makes me shudder. To me it's like some horrible ogre, the place I lost Simon to and my children lost their father to. It's almost as if he'd gone there and had an accident and been washed off into the sea or something, and never came back."

    Posted Image
  2. Poor Carol Vorderman

    Posted 28 Jul 2008

    Nuff said. They were going to cut her income by 90%, which means she'd only be making about a billion gold ingots per series. For that much money, she should be giving her entire audience blowjobs*, multitasking the final conundrum while she juggles Ferrero Rocher, singing the Very Best of the Belle Stars, and whipping up caviare and chips to help us through the recession. Boo, fucking and Sutton Hoo.




    *Which is what I personally tune in to see her do anyway.
  3. Ah, Yes, A Better Era. Doctor, Quick, Back To The Tardis!

    Posted 20 May 2008

    I'd forgotten all about how creepy the 40s and 50s could be until I saw this in full a minute ago.

    http://uk.youtube.co... h?v=F_RZTusUzM8

    I think I'll stick with the relatively naive and honest contemporary pleasures of snuff mythology, ladyboys and bikini car jets.
  4. The Political Class Speaks

    Posted 10 May 2008

    "Mr Brown, as the new chancellor, was wrong to announce he was not going to take a salary increase, thereby putting pressure on others to follow suit. "How dare Gordon do that? What did he know about financial commitments? He was a bachelor living on his own in a flat with a small mortgage," she writes."


    Yes, disgusting: putting unnatural pressure on the pigs to actually consider not sticking their heads in the trough. Just not the done thing, old chap; awfully inconsiderate of you rocking the boat like that and forcing us to show solidarity with the plebs. She might as well drop the remnants of her residual Scouse accent, start wearing pin-striped suits and take to carrying a crook and flail.

    http://news.bbc.co.u... ics/7393530.stm

    I maintain: Gordon Brown may be making his fair share of mistakes, but the real reason the media hates him is that they suspect he has Calvinist vices, and there's nothing a bunch of millionaires and billionaires hate more than a puritanical killjoy.
  5. Sending Clowns ---->

    Posted 2 May 2008

    A cartoon character has just been elected Mayor of London. Hartlepool elected a monkey a few years ago, but that seemed reasonable in comparison.

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Phoenix, Arizona, United States of America
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They cannot fly. That fact is now categorically established.

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Website URL  http://www.crookback.btinternet.co.uk

Comments

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  1. Photo

    toth Icon

    24 Aug 2009 - 21:18
    are you from mono? Let's be friends.
  2. Photo

    King_Parampapar Icon

    11 Mar 2008 - 16:27
    Chandler and Rachael will soon be married. Meanwhile, Ross is going to the cafe to meet with Joey and Phoebe, who will carry the objects to the appropriate place. Assemble with 99 of your friends in the usual place to watch this hilarious episode.
  3. Photo

    aussie Icon

    31 Mar 2007 - 09:43
    I dont know why you say the things you do about Paul and Roach. I think they are a lovely couple
  4. Photo

    aussie Icon

    31 Mar 2007 - 09:42
    princess Di and pauline hanson are the two sexiest women who ever lived
  5. Photo

    aussie Icon

    31 Mar 2007 - 09:40
    Bottom feeder you motherfucker?
  6. Photo

    cyprusudo Icon

    24 Mar 2007 - 09:34
    d4 d5, Your Move Joe
  7. Photo

    Anton Icon

    20 Mar 2007 - 21:11
    Frederick is the most memorable person I have ever met. I'll never forget the time we shared a banana and peanut ice cream. Never Forget.
  8. Photo

    cyprusudo Icon

    18 Mar 2007 - 12:26
    I'm Not Your Bitch!
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